...and cheers, Christoph!

Blimey. 2 followers in a day.

I feel like a rock star. Henceforth, I shall be insisting that any smarties have all the green ones removed first before being presented to me, and I want a chino helicoptered in direct from Chesters whenever I fancy one. Which is quite regularly.

Life would be much better if only I could get hold of a cuppuchino at any time of the day.

Handily, after a bit of impressive maneuvering, I managed to exit the car park at work in just 4 attempts. Well, it's called a car park... it's more a muddy, puddle-filled wasteland where, if you aren't in early and bag the best spots, you need waders and a friendly dry-cleaners afterwards to get out of your car. And that was before the local river decided it wanted a look a couple of months ago. For the last 3 weeks, it shared many characteristics with the Alps. Hilly, nasty crevasses, snow covered, the sort of place where you could easily get lost and die of cold and only attempted by the extremely brave.

There's a very big puddle outside Chris's gate too... Hello, Chris! (see what I did there? Cunning, huh?)

(Playing on the cassette deck this evening is Extreme's excellent 92 album "III Sides to Every Story". I love a good concept album. And a bit of ROCK.)

Comments

Faking it for real

As Donald “I’m really great, everybody says so” Trump is so fond of pointing out, there is a lot of fake news around nowadays. Honest. Your friends at Facebook think so too, and have recently been publishing their top tips for spotting false news – by placing them as ads in newspapers. Considering they came in for considerable criticism themselves, that’s like shouting “Squirrel!” and pointing at a tree whilst you hastily kick away the prize begonias you just trampled. To help you make sense of this (and because I’m a caring person), I thought I’d run you through their suggestions and help to explain them for you. I know. I’m lovely. 1. Be sceptical of headlines READING THIS ARTICLE WILL IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE!!! And explain that catchy headlines, or stuff all in capitals might be a bit iffy. 2. Look closely at the URL You can find out more about this at www.wowyouregullible.com if you want to understand how phony web addresses are a sure sign of dodgyness. 3. Investigate...

A very modern malady

Hello. I’m Doctor Grenville, and I’m here today to talk to you about SSS – or “Sad Selfie Syndrome”, to give it it’s full medical name. I’m a fully qualified medical doctor thing – I’ve got a PhD from Queens University Academy College Kendal (or “QUACK” for short) to prove it. That means it’s OK for me to talk to you about a very sensitive subject today and stroke your knee. Soothing, no? In my many years of medicinalising practice, I’ve come across some terrible afflictions. I’ve seen Achey Breaky Heart, Kneesles (where you get an itchy rash on your kneecaps) and even a very rare case of the Mercedes Benz. But recently I started seeing shocking images, on social media, graphically showing the devastating results of SSS. If you haven’t heard of it before, you’ve almost certainly seen pictures of what happens to the victims, who are mostly under the age of 30. We’ve already come to understand the irrational, overwhelming need for some amongst this group to photograph everythin...

Fantasy Formula 1 - Hungary Results

Sometimes there's a wonderful "huh?" moment in F1. Today's was when the lights didn't go to red at the start, but flashed green and yellow. I'm sure all the drivers are briefed, and everyone knows the drill, but they all just sat there - no-one wanted to be the first to move. In the most high-tech sport in the world, it took Charlie Whiting waving at them to make them go. To be honest, it wasn't the most thrilling of races, but Happy Hamilton "The slow boys won't get out of my way! It's not fair! Boohoohooo - I'm telling Charlie!" winning does mean the front end of the points table still looks deliciously tight. What we really need now, as the excitement level ramps up, is.... to take 5 weeks off. Dammit. Still, to keep you occupied, I want you to memorise the points you all scored today. It's easy to remember mine. I came last... RACE RESULT Position Name Point...

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