grumpyf1

Nice car... you MONSTER! Yes, we have got some rain.  As upstanding Brits, it is our solemn duty to mention this straight away in any conversation, but there’s a problem – we haven’t had much, have we? You’re more likely to have spent time on one of Cumbria’s beaches than get caught in a downpour over the last month. The plentiful sunshine and absence of rain has presented us with a horrifying conflict of interests – we quite like it sunny and warm, but it’s tough not being able to complain about precipitation. Whilst we’ve somewhat offset that pain by grumbling about it being too hot, or how it’s bad for the lawn, our need to moan will soon be well and truly saturated. Come the 5th of August, there will be a (pause for dramatic effect) hosepipe ban! United Utilities (UU) will be invoking the temporary restriction, which will see seven million people in the North West needing to pipe down for a bit. With the weather forecast continuing to feature unusually high amounts ...

Hello. I’m vaguely famous, and I’m here today to tell you about a terrible problem, and to ask for your help. There are some people in the barren lowlands of the South of England who, due to a terrible drought, are unable to keep their swimming pools full, or water their tennis court every day. They need YOUR help... In an unprecedented piece of stating the bleeping obvious, it has been announced that a lot of the South and East of England has worryingly low water reserves, due to the fact that it hasn’t rained much. And for quite a long time. This is shocking news indeed. As you may have gathered, I’m not a native Cumbrianer, so news that places I wandered round in my top hat and tails, whilst shouting at foreigners (and the Welsh), are suffering so terribly cuts to my very soul. Although, after that ill-advised pact with the devil for good tickets to a Sonia gig, I’m not entirely clear as to who is currently feeling the pain. Actually, it is possible to tell I’m not from r...