grumpyf1

If I decided to clamber onto the parapet of Walney Bridge and stroll along, you’d hopefully tell me to get down immediately – it’s dangerous. If I fell off, you’d be forgiven for saying you warned me, and that I was a fool for putting myself at risk like that. What if I’d spent years practising on the top of a low brick wall? Or been trained by an expert? Or had the right equipment, did it when the conditions were right, and had a permit to do so? I’d wager that you’d still say I chose to put my own life in danger. Scaled up to a mountainous level, is there much difference between my hypothetical bridge wander, and someone choosing to attempt Everest? As far as I can tell, no-one who has died on the massive mountain was forced into going up – they did it out of choice, for personal fulfilment and adventure. To take on an incredible physical challenge and overcome the danger to achieve something amazing. It seems that a variety of reasons are behind the large rise in deaths ...

SHHHHHSHH! Great news for Cumbrian kampanaphobia sufferers this week. Barrow’s St James’ the Great Church may be searching for new bell-ringers, but their neighbours won’t be left with a ringing in their ears. The would-be bong merchants might be tugging away like the clappers, but it will still be a silent night as they practice their bell control, thanks to an eight-bell simulator. This tinnitus-preventing marvel is being funded by the Heritage Lottery Fund. I have visions of people wearing VR headsets pulling on virtual ropes here, but I’m trying hard not to find that terribly amusing. However it works, it sounds (or not) like a great idea. With a recruitment drive taking place across the country, 1,400 bell ringers are being sought this year to mark 100 years since World War One ended – 1.400 being the number of bell ringers who died in the conflict. November 11th this year will mark the moment that church bells were rung spontaneously countrywide, celebrating the end o...

It’s comforting to know that there is one less threat to the people of Cumbria this week, following the conviction of white supremacist, Ethan Stables. The 20 year old from Barrow had planned to attack the town’s New Empire pub in June 2017, in the midst of a gay pride event. Despite social media posts saying he was “going to war” and planning to “slaughter”, online searches about how to make bombs and chemical poisons, and expressing hatred of Muslims, Jews and gay people, he claimed his online comments were merely to impress far-right friends. Fortunately, following Facebook posts about his intentions, the police were tipped off and armed officers intercepted him as he headed towards the pub. His aim was to kill anyone he found, with a machete. In a bizarre slip-up, Stables had erroneously added an innocent woman to his neo-Nazi Facebook group. When he vented his outrage at the Furness LGBT support group’s event, the shocked woman contacted the authorities. He’ll have ple...

What kind of sorcery is this..?! Comedian Sarah Millican is on a 100-date tour of the UK at the moment, and recently dropped in to deliver her Control Enthusiast show to an appreciative audience at The Forum, in Barrow. One of them had even “missed my regular bingo session” to attend. What higher praise is there? You know you’ve made it when that happens. Sarah clearly enjoyed herself too, taking to Twitter after the show to say “What a glorious crowd” the Barrovians were. She also included a picture of her “lovely dinner” – a couple of fried eggs, with a pile of chips and beans. Fair enough – it looked delicious. In fact, it’s making me hungry just thinking about it. I do have one perplexing problem with this gig/food-based scenario though; the eggs and chips are in half of one of those polystyrene boxes, whilst the beans are in the other half. The two half are hinged together. There’s no cross-contamination. Eggs and chips are bean-free. The beans are devoid of egginess and...

I’ve previously praised Peston, but there is another stalwart of The News that deserves a journalistic high-five. Step forward, Welsh word-wizard, Huw Edwards. Ah, News at Ten. Despite the fact that there are 24 hour, rolling, news services on the telebox, the 2200 one feels... proper. Like all the other reports were just working their way up to it, but this is the real one. Consider whatever it is to now be officially confirmed. Since 2003, this most important of news broadcasts has been fronted by Huw Edwards, the 55 year old Welshman lending the whole thing a sense of gravitas and professionalism. Except when the camera cuts back to him after something he finds amusing. In which case, watch out for one sardonically raised eyebrow. Whilst Robert Peston is honoured with the @robpestonhair Twitter fan account, there’s a very particular one for Huw. @HuwsAtTen noticed something metronomically fascinating about Huw’s News and only tweets about that, very specific, thing. And wit...

The terrifying, high-speed, derailment of a train carrying ridiculously volatile nuclear waste this week, shows just how... wait, what... 5mph? Oh. On Monday, there was a slight derailment of a train somewhere between Roose (which I’m sure is what Jeff Lynne sings in ELO’s “Don’t Bring Me Down”) and Barrow. Travelling at a dizzying 5mph, the train was going almost twice the speed of the commuter trains that usually frequent the line. Although ‘frequent’ is something of a misnomer, as people have been known to miss their train, strike up a conversation with a fellow stranded passenger on the platform, fall in love, then go through a messy break up before the next scheduled train shows up. What made this near-catastrophic event even more fear-inducing was that it was nuclear train! And here’s the really scary part – it was entirely free of any nuclear material whatsoever. This is all starting to sound like a 70s disaster movie, isn’t it? Yes, the flasks on board the train were emp...