grumpyf1

Lunch out? Not unless you want snow balls... I’ve got a confession to make.  Lean in a bit, because I’m going to whisper it. Bit more. Did you have curry for tea? OK, good. I’m a weather nerd. There, I said it. When I was growing up, I didn’t want to be an astronaut or a fireman – I wanted to present the weather on the TV. I was lining myself up for a career at the Met Office when, at about 18 years of age, I discovered I was allergic to studying. Anyway, despite a jam-packed and varied career over the subsequent years, I still have a fascination for the world of meteorology. I even have one of those clocks that projects the time and the external temperature onto the ceiling at night, so I can see how cold it is outside whilst lying awake worrying that I might have wasted my life and been more successful with girls if I’d been more into cars than clouds. So far this year, I’ve gazed at a chilly reading of -5C a couple of times, and been grateful for previous sensible ch...

Right: everybody panic! According to... well, everybody, really, we are in the grips of an unprecedented ‘snowmageddon’, as the ‘beast from the east’ makes it’s parky presence well and truly felt. I live in 100+ year old house, with the original single-glazed windows, so I’ve achieved an expert-level understanding of when it really IS cold. Somewhere around the time the second pair of socks under the heavily padded, ankle-covering slippers become ineffective is a sure sign. If this is combined with over three layers of clothing at body-level, then it’s official. There has been some industrial-strength scaremongering from the papers and TV news. If you believe any/all of it, Spring has been cancelled for starters. Odd, as I swear I saw a daffodil the other day. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure it can be postponed, but not actually cancelled altogether. Unless Trump and Kim Jong Un actually do throw their toys out of their prams, and press their big red nuclear buttons. In whic...

It’s warming up nicely, isn’t it? Soon, the cold of winter will be just a distant memory. But for me, the penguin (much like Celine Dion’s heart) will go on... Whilst this weekend looks set to witness a temperature in Centigrade containing two digits for the first time in ages, last Sunday featured some sudden snow storms and general chilliness. Timing my walk to perfection, I was part way up Arnside Knott when the snow came down soft and fast. I soon found myself in a small bubble of visibility, eerie silence, extreme slipperiness and a facial sensation that I imagine is like an ice bucket challenge on endless loop. Despite the multiple layers of clothing and my usual, disgruntled demeanour, something deep inside me stirred. Cold, worried about slipping over, face stinging from the horizontal assault of iciness, the grumpy me battled momentarily with a deeply buried sensation before losing altogether, as my inner 10 year old joyously delighted at this sight of heavy snow fall...

Now that we’re already bored with the mild, rainy weather, it’s worth bearing in mind that just seven days ago we were in the grip of Snowmageddon. With snowy weather having already made most of the rest of the country look unbearably cute, it was finally our turn, with a Met Office Amber Warning thing in place, just to make it extra worrying. It didn’t disappoint. With a little snow for much of the day doing a pretty good warm-up routine, the main act arrived late afternoon, and successfully turned any journey started after about 4pm into a winter blunderland. We soon realised we weren’t getting home that night, and not fancying spending it in a Mitsubishi Colt, opted for a nearby hotel. The bed was lumpier than the mashed potatoes I endured at primary school, but at least we were safe, excessively warm, and able to enjoy the company of all 5 of the other guests, who were nearly outnumbered by the staff. Venturing outside later, it was clear there was more snow that I’d see...

Where’s the snow then? I’m sure the weather forecaster said in October that it would probably snow at some point in January, so where exactly is it, then? They PROMISED. I want my money back... It’s chilly, isn’t it? Damn chilly. And there actually has been some snow, largely on top of those big, rocky things with the gigantic puddles in-between. You know the ones. Where all the tourists go so they can get lost in inappropriate clothing, fall off the big rocky things and need Mountain Rescue to save them. I know some Mountain Rescue folks – they’re all jolly nice and fit. As in healthy. Not attractive. I mean, some of them are attractive, but... I’ve got sidetracked again, haven’t   I? Good job there isn’t a word count limit to this Big Blogger business... Anyway, today’s rantlet (look it up, it’s a real word, honest) is about those folk who spot snow on a forecast as a possibility for 5 day’s time, and obsess about it. You know the ones – you haven’t seen a thing about it,...

Having woken up to yet another 3 inches of snow this morning, then managed to avoid the 6ft snowman some git had built in the middle of the main road through our village, you'd think I'd be a bit fed up with the white stuff by now. It would be fair to say that, on at least a dozen occasions this week, I have been pretty sure I was either going to crash and die, or become trapped, freeze and then die. And it would also be true to say that I've probably spent nearly as much time in my car than at my desk, too. But there have been a whole bunch of moments when I've peered through my windscreen and seen stuff so unbelievably beautiful that it made by jaw drop, literally. Went out for a slither in the snow tonight and now it's just a couple of hours left to go. The first white Christmas I can genuinely remember. Wherever you are - Happy Christmas.