grumpyf1

Be afraid. Be really jolly afraid, actually. A rampaging army of zombie gastropods is eyeing up your garden. And they’re hungry as hell! Shocking news surfaced last weekend. Whilst we are all basking in the delightfully chilly dampness of another Bank Holiday weekend, frightening reports came in, detailing the gruesome news that a generation of sleepless slugs now exists. A wet summer, followed by a very mild winter, has failed to send the squishy blighters into hibernation, and they didn’t even drown in the flooding. According to conservation charity BugLife, we’re facing a population “explosion”, with potential for “devastation for our gardens”. They’ve spent the winter on the sluggy equivalent of a massive 18-30 bender. Eating anything available and getting jiggy with it, they’ve raised an army of slimy soldiers, ready to do battle with your plants. Being hermaphrodites, they can even self-reproduce, which is great news for the really ugly ones who can’t get a date. For the ...