grumpyf1

I wonder if Lewis has started complaining again yet? What am I thinking? Of course he has. The champagne was probably too cold, or Martin Whitmarsh's nipples were too pointy. Still, nice to see him win, and take a least a few minutes off from the grumblefest - he's starting to make me look like a cheerful person. Naughty corner: Everyone was pretty well behaved, weren’t they? I’ll have to go with Lee Mackenzie’s continuing over-use of the phrase “Just tell us..” on the BBC coverage, which she’s fronting whilst Jake Humphrey nips off to that footballerist thingy. Hero: I’m going with Perez – he made up 12 places to finish on the podium. Good work, Speedy! Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was Perez, with a huge 39 points for anyone that picked him. Which none of us did. D’oh. Mark E’s stranglehold on FF1 2012 continues for a 7th race, although his lead has dropped to an achievable 34 points... Front to back gap has crept up again to 444 points. Ouch. Hamil...

Following Monaco, rules got clarified, and Red Bull suddenly had to have less holes than they’d like. It turned out not to be an issue come the final quail session, but before that Senna, Kovaleinen and Vergne all went about making their cars lighter and with more holes too. Unfortunately, all three did so by sticking their car into a wall. The trend continued into Q2, when Maldonado (whose talent reserve is now definitely running on fumes) shoved his car into the infamous Wall Of Champions. It’ll probably be the only time in F1 that ‘Pastor’ and ‘Champion’ appear in the same sentence. As the crunch damaged his gearbox too, he wound up a further 5 places back on the grid come Sunday, in a lowly 22nd. Meanwhile, Das Sebulator was busy annexing pole position ahead of an on-form Hamilton and Alonso, whilst Button’s run of terrible form continued, with a grid slot of 10th. There will now be a short interlude whilst I regale you with my tale of F1 TV woe. As you know, I’m a B...

Crikey. That was unexpected. Lewis smiled and didn't complain about anything. That deserves a trophy and some shampoo at the very least. It looks rather like the Good-Fortune-At-McLaren-Cat has found a new lap to sit on. No, I don't know where I got that from either - bit weird, wasn't it? Shall we pretend I never said it? OK then. The unfortunate by-product of all this was lots of images of Nicole Shitslinger's annoying habit of over-emoting all the time. Still, whilst she's doing that, she's not singing. Win there, I reckon. Anyway, enough of me dissing celebrity couples, it's time for the Fantasy Formula 1 results from the Canadian GP! WARNING - MAY CONTAIN SCORES OF ZERO. COMPETITORS CALLED IAN J AND MARK S SHOULD LOOK AWAY NOW. RACE RESULT Position Name Points 1 Tony 81 2 Paul 80 3 James 78 4 ...