grumpyf1

OK, he probably wouldn’t have managed it if Rosberg & Hamilton hadn’t wound up in a gravel trap, but Max Verstappen bagged his first Formula 1 win last weekend. At the age of 18. I remember being pretty obsessed about things that meant a lot to me when I was 18. Getting into my ultra-skinny jeans took a lot of time, and getting out of them required degrees of skill and concentration that probably should have gained my some kind of award. Then there was the styling mousse. Back when I had luxurious locks, I was carrying around enough highly flammable material on my head that a stray spark could have taken out a small town. By the time he reached 18, ridiculously youthful Formula 1 star Max had already got nearly a full year of motor racing at the top level under his belt. At which point he was old enough to take his driving test. Racing since he was four and a half years old, Max appeared in F1 last year to a barrage of criticism about his age. There were some unforced err...

If ultra-fit blokes driving round in circles in stupidly expensive cars is your thing, then Hurrah! Formula 1 returns this weekend. It may only seem like a couple of months since Formula 1 packed up for the winter break with that German chap with the pointy finger looking smug again, but in fact... oh. Yes, it was only November. The F1 circus opens up it’s big top of baffling wonderment in Australia this weekend, and for the first time in years it really is anyone’s guess as to who might win the title. Had things remained the same, it seemed entirely plausible that Sebastian Vettel would have picked up where he left off – which was winning nine races in a row and crushing all opposition in his Red Bull dream machine. Happily, the biggest set of rule changes this century has given the pack and jolly good shuffle, and the signs from winter testing sessions are that things really have changed a lot. In a sport where a 0.1 second improvement is considered a huge gain, the timesh...

I’m guessing a lot of us had a wish-list heading into the last race of the season. With Seb 13 points ahead, it probably involved rain, a shunt/spin that dropped Vettel down the order, a great race by Alonso, some more rain, crashes, more rain and whole heap of tension. Maybe with a British winner. And some rain. Don’t expect much for Christmas – it looks like all our wishes came true early, in a breathtaking race to finish off a pretty stunning year. Qualifying took place on a drying track, with Grosjean dropping out in Q1 after a dopey tangle with Karthikeyan, and Hamilton grabbing pole from Button. The title protagonists were 4th (Seb) and 8th (Nando) respectively, each with their team-mate outqualifying them. The Gods of F1 luck smiled on Fernando again, as 8th became 7th after Maldonad’oh got a penalty for (you’ll like this) failing to go to the weighbridge – this isn’t a penalty in itself, but it does get you a reprimand. Enough reprimands and you get a penalty. D’oh. ...

Seeing as he was challenging for his third title at this race, it’s actually quite startling to realise that Vettel was only competing in his 100th GP. Yes, we’ve become that used to the pointy finger and innate winningness of Das Sebulator, it’s easy to forget he’s still only 25 years old. With the championship in his grasp (and Red Bull set to bag the Constructors crown to boot), the first visit to the new US GP circuit in Texas seemed quite likely to deliver Seb his third title with a race to spare. The circuit was great, the weather fantastic, enthusiastic fans packed the stands and a nutter in a helicopter seemed to be intent on skimming the tops of the cars like a deranged seagull, all in the name of getting a good camera angle. Unfortunately for Button, his screen time was somewhat limited as he dropped out in Q2 on Saturday, whilst Grosjean’s excellent P4 was diminished by a five place drop for a gearbox change. Whilst Seb bagged pole, Hamilton was next up with We...

Abu Dhabi saw Red Bull in with a shout of taking the constructors title home, but Seb was already having an iffy weekend with brake issues, before clouting the wall in Q1. He survived, but Hamilton was clearly the fastest man of the weekend, even at this stage. Q2 saw Rosberg give a dejected Mercedes team a brief glimmer of hope, as he managed to progress through to the final session, but the surprise outcome was Hamilton with an easy pole, followed by Webber and Vettel, with Alonso only 7th. Or so we thought. Seb had been told to park the car on track rather than return to the pits, and it turned out the FIA couldn’t get the requisite litre of fuel out to sample. Suddenly, the championship was looking much more lively, as Das Sebulator got bunged to the back of the grid. Race start saw Webber get his customary crappy getaway, dropping down to 4th, whilst Raikkonen passed Maldonad’oh into 3rd place. Senna, Hulkywulkyberg and Dire Sta all attempted to use the same bit of t...

I’ll be honest with you – I didn’t see qualifying, as I was away for the weekend, being vaguely sociable for a change. Well, drinking mostly. Same thing, isn’t it..? What I did pick up was that Seb was continuing his dominant form, being right at the pointy end during the Free Practice sessions, and then nailing pole comfortably during quail. It certainly looked ominous for Sunday... And so it proved to be. Das Sebulator squeezed Webber at the start, scything into a lead that he was never to be relieved of, for the whole 60 laps of the Indian GP. Alonso was doing his best to stay in touch, diving between the McLarens into a temporary 3rd place, only for them to pincer him back. After a couple of scary, millimetre-perfect, corners of battling, Fernando had to settle for 4th with Jenson ahead, and Lewis behind, him. Schumi’s dismal end to his second stab at F1 continued it’s drawn-out death throes, as a slight clip by Vergne left the veteran German with a puncture and a blo...

Crikey. I've got a sudden feeling of deja-vu. Crikey. I've got a sudden feeling of deja-vu. Vettel wins 3 races on the trot, takes the lead of the championship and heads serenely towards back-to-back title number 3? How old is he? 25?! The legend that is The Firm's "Star Trekkin'" was number one whe he was born. Yes, he's that young. And yes, there are Klingons on the starboard bow. Still, at least popular music has moved on, and the charts aren't ruled by strange novelty records. Gangnam Style you say? Never heard of it...   RACE RESULT     Position Name Points 1 Ollie C 88 2 Scott 75 3 Elmon 74 =4 Olie B 72 =4 Ian S 72 6 Claire 68 7 Chris 66 8 Tony 61 9 Paul ...