grumpyf1

It’s always great to share public transport with drunk people. It’s even more fun when it’s at a time most sane folks are contemplating a bowl of Corn Flakes. I recently had the delight of getting up at 5.30am to catch a train on a Saturday. I consumed cappuccinos, in an attempt to blot out the terrifying realisation that there actually is a 5.30 in the day that isn’t at tea time, but fellow travellers were starting their day with something a bit stronger than my frothy coffee. On our trip to the wilds of Yorkshire, I was thrilled to see a party of twenty-something lads get on board our carriage of delight, and quickly realised they were on a stag weekend. It wasn’t hard to deduce this, as some remained standing in the entrance area, whilst others sat down a few rows of seats away. Despite the train being busy, the separated group continued their shouted conversation, which was seemingly based around some kind of rule that meant you have to swear every other word. Wearing ...

You know those annoying people at parties? The ones in the loud shirts, who keep knocking back the wine like it’s free, and then get all smart-Alec-y and think they know everything? I hate them. If, like me, times are a little hard, and you can only afford to go out occasionally, you really want to have an enjoyable evening, relaxing with friends, free from the cares of the world, for a nice chat and a few laughs. Or, you may be going to dinner at someone’s house: Old friends from school, perhaps. Or work colleagues that have become friends. Family, even. What you really don’t need at an occasion that’s meant to be fun is some boorish goon, who starts out relatively normally, but gets progressively louder as the evening goes on. You know the type – quaffing your expensive Pinot Grigiot like it’s a bottle of Value Cider, and gradually getting louder and louder, whilst their anecdotes get progressively longer, the hilarious bon-mots are actually decidedly un-funny, and their tal...