grumpyf1

I can tell if a race is a good one. It’s when I realise my heart is beating fast. The alternative is that I’m in quite serious trouble, so I’m sticking with the F1 theory. This race had the blood circulating at a fairly alarming rate... The weekend was preceded by rumours that Massa might get replaced at Ferrari following a poor weekend in Australia. So lousy was it that Ferrari even replaced his chassis, in case it was that causing the problem. Mercedes were also in the spotlight for a frankly baffling bit of technology that fed air from the rear wing back over the surface of the car to the front wing. Nope – I’ve got absolutely no idea either. Lotus were on fire – literally, as their hospitality unit caught fire, burning Kimi’s helmet (insert inappropriate joke here). The Kimster also had a 5 place grid penalty hanging over him, following a gearbox change. HRT had a brilliant start to their weekend when they managed to show up without going bust, with 2 whole cars,...

When Peter Sauber rescued the team that used to bear his name after BMW legged it out of the exit door, he probably knew he was going to wind up pretty much back where he left off a few years before. Midfield. After startling everyone with some super-fast times in testing last year, it looked like the car the Beemer Boys had designed might actually be a cracker. It turned out it was in-fact distinctly average. At this point, please have a ponder about that eh? Someone quick in testing, but crap when the season gets underway? You've been warned... Anyway, the new motor looks tidy enough, but I can't say I'm expecting anything other than the usual though - there doesn't seem to be anything radical going on, does there? Driver-wise, they don't have any experienced old-hands this year, having dumped Heidfeld (grrrrr) in favour of the wallet friendly Pasta Carbonara. Sorry - Pastor Maldonado. Don't expect miracles there then. The team are interested in him for ...

Crikey! I thought the Brawn team had packed it in! Oh, hang on... it's the new Sauber car, rising from the ashes of BMW in a not-very-phoenix-like blaze of.. er.. black and white. And their drivers are dressed in white too. Still, it worked for Button & Co last year... One small (financial) point... there doesn't seem to be any sponsorship. Hang on... (gets magnifying glass out) yes, I can definitely see something on the wing mirror. That's got to be worth at least £50, and they've got 2 mirrors! pre-season preview? Why not... Much like Williams being run by the chap whose name is on the car, I always had a soft spot for the Sauber team. They never quite seemed to be a "big" team (big as in run by a car company) but sometimes managed to punch above their weight. Peter Sauber seems like a top bloke too - wide smile and a cigar. Brilliant. Then he decided he'd had enough and BMW waved some cash at him. Being a car company, they got cold feet when the rec...

Pedro de la Rosa has landed the vacant seat at Sauber for next year and will be teamed up with that feisty Japanese chap who drove the last couple of races for Honda last year, Kamoo... Kamyouee, er.. Kobayamish.... Anyway, Pedro has been kicking around at McLaren getting in the way of the likes of Coulthard, Raikkonen, Hakkinen, Montoya and Hamilton for the past 7 years as test driver and last raced in 2006 (a bit). He's contested 71 GP's and hasn't particularly set the world on fire to date. He is nice and old though. He'll be 39 by the first race of the year, which is positively ANCIENT in F1 terms, although he is beaten by Schuey and Rubens. And maybe Fisi. I should possibly have checked up on that before writing this. Research? Yeah, right... (NP: Still Fred....)

Good news everybody! Kamui Kobayashi, who you may remember stood in for Glock at Toyota for the last couple of races of the 09 Season, will be in a Sauber next year. This is great, simply because he was completely un-intimidated by Button... and just about everyone else, in fact. In Abu Dhabi he fended off a whole bunch of experienced drivers, and he did it aggressively, and (just about) fairly. No meek "letting your elders through politely" stuff. And we need a bit more of that, don't we? Reports are that his team mate could be Fisichella, De la Rosa or maybe Heidfeld (but only if Schumi doesn't return. Mercedes will be wanting another German!). (Today's post was, er, posted to the tune of the They Might Be Giants track "Another First Kiss")