grumpyf1

Who'd have thunked it, eh? A seat in a Williams F1 car for 2012 is now the most hotly contested thing in F1 (if you ignore the piece of tarmac Lewis and Rubens want to be on, that is). With surprise signings at both Lotus Renault and Toro Rosso resulting it all their 2011 drivers getting the F1 heave-ho, it's fallen to Frank's mob to offer a chance for the refugees from these two teams, plus a few other drivers unceremoniously dumped in the constant quest for "the next Seb". Sutil, Senna, Petrov, Buemi, Alguersuari and D'Ambrosio all need a drive, and Barrichello certainly wasn't planning on calling it a day either. And, before you mention it, I know HRT have a seat free too, but... seriously... who'd go there? Apart from Pedro de la Rosa, of course. It's on the way to the pension office, I believe. I'm guessing Sutil, but with Maldonado signed up again for next year (along with some more hefty bags of cash), Williams need a decent d

It didn't take a genius to spot this one coming - Nico Hulkenberg will be driving the other Force India car next year. Partnering that wee laddie di Resta, Hulkywulky has bagged the seat previously occupied by the not-too-shabby Adrian Sutil. Hulky did pretty well in the duff Williams in 2010, so it was surprising he got the boot... until you remember this is Williams, who'll dump anyone if they think they can get someone else cheaper. Frentzen in for Damon Hill? Yeah.... Anyway, the not-Britney Nico had to watch from the sidelines at team fifi this year, whilst attempting to word questions about his future at the team carefully, and not shouting "give me the sodding drive, I'm ace!" all the time. Which is probably what he was thinking. His team-mate will put him to the test in '12 - any rustiness will need to be shaken off damn fast. If he's as good as some people say he is, then that shouldn't be a problem. Should it? I seem to remember

For reasons I singularly fail to understand, more people have viewed my blog this month that at any other time in it's history. Considering there's no F1 on at the moment, I can only reach the following conclusions: 1) You've mistaken me for a porn site 2) You're certifiably insane 3) Both of the above 4) You like a ranty man grumbling about Formula 1 and life in general Whatever the reason - thanks. I'll do my best to keep annoying you in 2012 as well, and Fantasy Formula 1 will return in time for the new season too. In the meantime, I wish you, and everyone you hold dear, a very Happy Christmas. (Tunage supplied by Kate Bush's "The Director's Cut" from earlier this year. Odd.... but growing on me...)

Tough gig, driving for Toro Rosso. You just get good, and then you're unceremoniously dumped to make way for the (maybe) next Vettel. Such has been the fate of Jaime Aluersuari (which is bad news for my continuing Alguersuaras joke) and Sebastien Buemi. Both performed well this year, but not (it would seem) well enough to keep their Red Bull paymasters happy. So, like Lotus/Renault/Delete-as-applicable, it's all change at Red Ball Jr, as Daniel Ricciardo joins the team along with Jean-Eric Vergne. Ricciardo we know a bit about, as he was given the chance to have a go in an HRT for 11 races after some fizzy drink money accidentally found it's way into the Spanish team's rather empty wallet. A best result of 18th might not seem that great, but he made his more experienced team mate Liuzzi look pretty shabby, although, to be fair, your average 19 year old in a souped-up Vauxhall Corsa probably could have done that too. Like Ricciardo, Vergne has had an odd route

You wait ages for a Frenchman in F1, then two arrive at once. Hot on the heels of Pic, comes Grosjean. Or, to be more accurate, comes Grosjean again . Romain replaced Piquet Jr back in '09 and drove 7 races fore Renault, with a best result of 13th. After a couple of years back in the shallow end of motorsport, he won the GP2 championship this year, so maybe he's ready this time. With Lotus Renault going for the 'most number of drivers in 3 seasons award' (Kubica, Petrov, Heidfeld, Senna, Raikkonen, Grosjean) Romain will need to find his feet pretty rapidly - the team aren't that French any more, and failure isn't likely to be tolerated. It should be interesting to see how he gets on against Kimi. His problem is that, even if he trounces our Finnish friend, people will still question his ability, as Kimi is a tad... how can we put this...? Out of favour, and possibly out of form. It should be interesting to see how the team get on. Can they improve en

We now know a bit more about the BBC's F1 coverage for next year - it's probably best if you don't get TOO excited. Whilst Sky are busy launching their new dedicated F1 channel and getting their bank account reinforced, we already know that the excellent Brundle and equally good Kravitz are heading their direction. Along with just about everyone from 5Live, plus 3 microphones, a desk, 9 cameras and a slightly dented filing cabinet. And a lot of viewers. And what are us hopeless poor people (or conscientious Murdoch objectors) getting in return? Ben Edwards! Who? Ben Edwards! He did some Touring Car commentary apparently. Ooo... tumbleweed! In response to my terrified question on twitter "Please tell me he's not another Legard/Allen?!", I was advised that he's nearly as interesting and good as those two by @Pickledegg101 and @BBQMushroom. I've not met either of these fine, upstanding twitchums, but obviously I value their opinions without que

Now then... Why do you think Red Bull and Ferrari have decided to leave F1's voluntary Teams Association, FOTA? Could it possibly be that they wanted to spend even more squodges of cash than they already do, and the smaller teams said "you're having a laugh, right?". I'm sure there will be lots of important statements about 'wanting to work together', 'resource restrictions' blah blah blah, but this is clearly about two of the biggest teams with the largest budgets wanting to win at any cost and thereby ensuring the smaller ones almost certainly never can. This is like Tesco joining a consortium of small shop owners, then saying 'well, we DO want to help, but we're going to charge 30p less for that pack of yoghurts, so tough titties'. FOTA was set up by the teams partially to help them agree limits on spending to ensure the future of F1 didn't just look like Ferrari and McLaren winning all the time. Now Red Bull have 2 Wo

Williams have kept Pastor Maldonado for 2012. Might I pose one, teensy, awkward question? Why the hell would you want to do that?! Pastor's greatest achievement this season was getting investigated twice for ignoring blue flags. In the same race. Could it, just possibly, be down to money? A big pile of Venezuelan state oil company money? Or is it because he's jolly talented and just needs a bit more time to shine? You're right - it's the cash, innit. So Skeletor's twin will be back on the grid next season, giving the team some much-needed finance, but not scoring many points, which will make it hard for them to get investors, which means they won't be able to afford decent drivers, which means... Erm... Christ! An F1 Mobius strip! Aaaaaaaghhhh!!!!! Either that, or Williams REALLY don't want to win races again. (Listening to the radio at the mo: Ken Bruce on Radio 2) 

Having exhausted the supply of Coke and Choc Ices in the Rallying community, Kimi Raikkonen is returning to F1 with Renault. Or Lotus. But not that Lotus. You know, the other one with Senna and Petrov. Only... not with them anymore. Clear? Good. Although rumours linking him with Williams were interesting, that always seemed pretty unlikely, unless he happened to have a championship winning chassis stuffed down his pants. A a few million quid. The Renault/Lotus thing was a bit of a shocker, but I'm glad the monosyllabic one is back again. In no particular order, here's my reasoning: He's a brilliant driver. Sometimes. He can't be arsed. Sometimes. He confused the hell out of Ferrari. 6 World Champs on the grid! He likes choc ices. He told Martin Brundle he'd been for a s**t. He doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks about him. He clearly LOVES being awkward. He was born in Espoo (hee heee!) There you go. I think that proves my point (not that

Sorry. Couldn't resist that. In one of F1's many name changes, French youngster Charles Pic will actually be pedalling a Marussia Cosworth next year, as Virgin get a name change as well as a young driver in place of D'Ambrosio. Pic arrives from a 4th place finish in GP2 this year, and is just 21 years old. The days of future stars starting off in a tiddly team at the back of the grid seem to be on the wane somewhat - Ricciardo doesn't count, as he was plonked in an HRT by Red Bull cash - so Charles' future seems uncertain, but he's the first French chappie in F1 for a while, so that's jolly splendid, isn't it? Just so you know, I'm copyrighting the phrase 'Pic Axed' for when he gets dumped.

Today, I had my first day off work for 2 years, having succumbed to that most evil and debilitating of ailments - Man Flu. I'd forgotten quite how dull it is spending the day doing sod all and feeling sorry for yourself. Still, I had a tin of soup for tea and some cold mash I found in the fridge, so... Winning! In case you're wondering where the Better Half is, she felt so sorry for me she buggered off out to her work Christmas do. Can't say I blame her - the pathetic coughing and sudden temperature changes annoys the hell out of me to. Having woken up at 2am feeling like I'd been gargling razorblades, it was no surprise I slept in a touch. Mind you, you know you're getting old when that means 9am, even when you're ill. I missed the opportunity to go for a beer with the boss on our last day in the office, and also missed out on bidding farewell to a colleague who was leaving today. I did send him an abusive message on twitter though, so that should be ju