grumpyf1

Right now, working in IT probably feels like a poor career choice, what with stranded flights, frozen systems, angry Android users and off-message display boards. IT sounds like a lucrative and dependable way to make a living. We all need the wonderful world of the web, and, like it or not, even your chips only make it to your plate (or newspaper of choice) thanks to their computer-residing namesakes. The ploughing of the field, planting, fertilisation, pest-control, reaping, transporting, bagging, selling, distribution – even the cooking – all are likely to have involved some form of processor. We need the IT experts. We rely on them, in fact. We’ve become so dependent on them being on top of their game that we’d be fighting each other to death in the street for a Curly Wurly in a matter of days if the world’s computing power went offline. Presuming we could find the street without our phone telling us which direction it is. The WannaCry ransomware that took out the NHS’s s...

I’ve been doing my bit to assist the NHS this week, and help to not worsen the “humanitarian crisis” reported by the Red Cross. By avoiding using the emergency services, or visiting A&E, I have played my part in reducing pressure on a chronically overloaded system. Whilst I think a medal of some sort is probably in order, I’ll accept public recognition of having been a very brave boy instead. It’s a debilitating injury. In a bleary-eyed state, I crawled out of bed at the weekend on my usual pilgrimage to the kitchen to rustle up a fortifying cappuccino. Unfortunately, pre-caffeine, my co-ordination isn’t very good. This resulted in my bare foot straying slightly off course, initiating a high-speed little toe/chair leg interface situation. As any qualified medical professional will tell you, very few things are as painful as this, or more difficult to do anything about in the immediate aftermath. I did what all hurty-toe sufferers do, producing a stream of swear words so o...

“Set up a distribution list!” they say. “It’ll make life easier”. Good idea – unfortunately, someone at the NHS managed to send an email to 840,000 colleagues… Ever prepare a carefully worded email, hit ‘send’ and then wondered if you included all the people you intended in the ‘To’ field? Never mind – you can always forward in on to anyone missing with an apologetic “Sorry!” at the top and a smiley face to prove you’re a good sort really and it was a genuine mistake. Better than doing it the other way round, and including someone you didn’t mean to. What if it was irrelevant to the recipient? Embarrassing. What if it was highly relevant? “Peter is the single worst employee we have, and his shirts give me a headache. Surely that’s grounds for dismissal?” and you sent it to me… sorry, him? Devastating. (Especially as they’re nice shirts really.) Most of the time, it’s just great entertainment value. You get to see all sorts of interesting stuff when people unintentionally reply ...