grumpyf1

Evening, sweet cheeks. Oh, sorry - I thought you were someone else. *cough* Anyway, it seems Massa has now been signed by Ferrari for 2013, giving him the exciting prospect of another 12 months to look at the back of Fernando's car AND NOTHING ELSE. This also ties in nicely with a splendid story claiming the Sebulator has already signed to Ferarri for 2014, with Nando's approval (the bushy eyebrow-owning Spanish driver, not the purveyors of chicken products). Really? Can you imagine how knackered Rob Smedley will be repeating "Fernando is faster than you, back off" endlessly on the radio? Or how high the probability would be of Fernando not hearing a message that says "let that cheeky German chap in the red car past, please, Fernando"... Still... it'd be a bloody good laugh for us, wouldn't it? Bring it on! And now, the untidy bits of Fantasy Formula 1 stuff that wouldn't fit in anywhere else, and the bin was full anyway: Naughty c...

New track, exciting layout, great corners, dusty - on paper, the shiny new Indian GP should have been a belter. Initial jitters and teething problems (multiple power failures, commentary boxes with no windows, dog caused red flagging of FP1) happily melted away in the 30C sunshine, but at least one thing was constant - Hamilton was in trouble with the F1 fuzz yet again, failing to slow down while yellow flags were being enthusiastically waved during practice, netting him a 3 place grid penalty, along with Perez. For Lewis, 2nd in quali became 5th on the grid, leaving a Red Bull lockout at the front, with Seb on pole again, followed by Webber, Alonso and Button. Vettel scampered off at the start - that's all you really need to know about his race, as no-one got ahead of him for the duration. Jenson tried hard (as usual), but never got the gap down enough to mount a challenge. Jenson passed Webber after the first few corners, whilst multiple shunts occurred down the cheaper ...

Ferrari have tonight confirmed that, should Fernando feel that his shoes are a touch dirty, Felipe will pop round to his house so that he can wipe his feet on him. The ever affable Brazilian seems once again to have wound up with a driver in the other red car who he has to (quite literally) play second fiddle to. Without a fiddle. This time though, Ferrari managed to make it so bleedin' obvious, that the race stewards have handed them a $100,000 fine. Still, that would buy you what? A Ferrari wing mirror, two second hand wheel nuts and a Prancing Horse key fob. Maybe. I don't know. I'm just speculating. Anyhoo, what I'm TRYING to get at is that it's a fairly paltry fine for what was a flagrant (and that's a top word, isn't it?) breach of the rules. But... was it the wrong thing to do? We'll come back to that, shall we...? The German GP looked likely to be a corker, with the 6 drivers most likely to win it occupying the first 6 places on the grid. B...

It hath begun . New Formula 1 cars will be rolled out almost every day over the next couple of weeks, whilst some slightly embarrassed and awkward looking peddlars smile politely for the cameras in their new race suits. First up - Ferrari. And wow - is that a nice looking car. And now (fanfare!) the inaugural Grumpy F1 pre-season team preview!! With that grumpier-even-than-me Finnish bloke having gone off in a huff having been dropped by the team (and probably trying to grumpily figure out what to do with his huge pay-off), Ferrari are looking to regain their more-usual crown of bestest team in Formula 1. Strange, then, that the last person to prove this point was none other than Kimi Raikkonen. Poor old Fisi (who has bags of experience and can usually get a half-decent performance out of most cars) proved in 09 that the red car was a bitch to drive, so hopefully they've fixed that. New boy Alonso has two titles to his name (3, if you count the title of "Mr like to have the te...