grumpyf1

After last Friday’s analysis of some of the types of person you find hanging out in meeting rooms, here’s the rest (Warning: contains Groaners). TUNNELER: Doesn’t want to be there. Disinterested, sighs a lot, and gives the impression that their time is being wasted. Only makes eye contact if they can use the opportunity to roll them, shrug over-dramatically and pull a silly grin. Looks at their watch a lot. In real life: That friend you always have to call first. DOORMAT: Often a startled underling, who didn’t pretend to be on the phone fast enough when the boss was looking for a substitute. They don’t understand what’s going on, and leave the meeting with a to-do list which, if attempted on their own, will see them past retirement age. In real life: That lovely, optimistic, person from school, who you just know will be on the front pages one day after attempting to kill someone with a sharpened cucumber. TETCH: Can’t believe how long it’s taking everyone to sort something simp...

Careful analysis at work has given me a fascinating insight into the fragile ecosystem of the office meeting, and all it’s strange and varied types of participant. Once, I could look at my computer-based calendar, and know that the next crucial appointment I absolutely had to adhere to was a Bank Holiday at some distant point in the future. Or occasionally be reminded it was someone’s birthday. Since a major overhaul of my job recently, my screen now looks like party-animal appointments wandered in, decided they liked the look of the place, invited all their mates, then proceeded to have lots of unprotected schedule-based fun, resulting in hundreds of the little blighters packing each date, and my computer making a worrying groaning noise when I log into the diary. It has become so bad, that I’ve actually been reduced to attending pre-meeting meetings, and booking meetings for myself to prepare for them. One positive outcome has been the opportunity to observe my fellow atten...