grumpyf1

Missing you... Disaster – we forgot to buy an advent calendar. No teensy, hard to get at, unidentifiable shaped chocolate treats hidden behind cardboard doors and impenetrable foil for me this year. Still, there’s plenty of time left to consume my own body-weight in mince pies, cheese and pigs in blankets before the inevitable guilt (and medically necessary dieting) kicks in as 2019 shows up excitedly just when I’ve started getting used to 2018. So, instead of wasting a shed-load of packaging to get at the equivalent of a very small chocolate bar, here are my environmentally-friendly Adventness Delights for you – a treat for every remaining day as we count down to the online sales. (And Christmas.) 18: Jona Lewie successfully Stops The Cavalry. 17: You win £50. 16: The kids are well-behaved. 15: The algorithm that shoves ads into your social media timeline fails for the day. 14: Unlimited Chocolate Hob-Nobs. 13: Calorie-free cheese that still tastes fantastic hits...

Firstly, some important and significants facts about my attempts to be healthier: 1) It's precisely one year since I quit smoking, having previously been on the cigs for over 20 years. 2) Since starting to try and eat a bit less crap (see "Beans" previously) I have managed to lose 6 pounds. 3) I actually do feel a bit better generally and my clothes are starting to fit again, rather than only doing so when I breathe in. So how come I still really want a cigarette and could happily clear a jumbo bar of Cadbury Dairy Milk right now? Why did I nearly walk in to a nice little old lady this morning whilst out for my yomp (I can answer that one actually - I was trying to tune in the FM radio on my MP3 player. Apologies to the little old lady)? Being healthy sucks. Found out last night that we have been allocated an allotment, so more excercise heading my way! (Wait for it.... NP is Enigma's The Eyes Of Truth (Gotterdammerung Mix). Wooo! Yeah!!)