grumpyf1

People in white lab coats believe walking 10,000 steps a day will significantly improve our health. They haven’t mentioned what happens if you do more than that, but I’m hoping it’s not something terrible... I tend to believe just about anything I see on TV and, from watching far too many scary episodes of Horizon, I came to the conclusion that I probably wasn’t walking enough. Mind you, the number of walkers who get bashed over the head in ITV 9pm dramas is quite alarming, but it’s important to get things in perspective: Early heart attack, or moderate risk of getting brain caved in (possibly by David Tennant or Olivia Colman)? Sure, I wander downstairs for breakfast, and then have to walk all the way out to the car to drive to work. I even have to get out in Ambleside to pick up a large cappuccino, and the staff car park must be a whole minute’s walk away from the office. I should probably be requesting company shoes. But the doubt still remained. Was I getting the full 10K...

This time last year, I had a brainwave. It only tends to happen once a year, so I’m hoping the next one turns up soon, to be honest. I had a startling realisation, than no 44 year old bloke has ever had before – that I was unfit. Shocking, I know. How could that possibly have happened? I mean, I definitely got a fair bit of exercise – I’m a staircase owner for starters. Then there’s all that walking from the car to the office, and a fair bit of walking around the office to get cake, plus walking at the weekend to the bakers. To get cake. Cake seems to feature a bit doesn’t it? Unfortunately, all this good-quality, high-impact, activity was causing my clothes to shrink to an alarming extent, and I was afflicted by a weird kind of bloating over all my body (especially my waist), so I decided I ought to try and do something about it. But what? I mean, there’s only miles and miles of beautiful scenery just outside my door, so what could I possibly do? So I decided I might as wel...