grumpyf1

I suffer like Samantha Brick does. Hardly a day goes by without someone saying to me “let me get you a cup of tea, you’re gorgeous”, me saying “Ta!” and them then saying “I wasn’t talking to you. And what are you doing in my kitchen anyway?”. I can’t help being this stunning – you’ve seen the photo. I can wear two hats and look virile at the same time. Whilst wearing a scarf. That’s not an easy look to pull off. Just the other day whilst in 1st class* on a flight** to America*** a beautiful woman**** offered me champagne***** just because “you look adorable”****** *2nd class **train ***Manchester ****6 year old kid ***** a jelly baby ******”you’re funny looking” Whilst I’m no Brad Pitt, I’m average height, a bit portly, balding, the bits that aren’t balding are greying, my ears are a bit big and my grin in wonky. Totally irresistible in other words. Yup – not Brad Pitt. More Arm Pit. Because of my stunning appearance, I have regularly been overlooked by other ...