grumpyf1

Sorry, WHO are you..? Considering she fell out of an exploding TARDIS back in the spring, it’s taken the new Doctor Who a long time to crash onto our TV screens. Jodie Whittaker, taking over the role from Peter Capaldi, certainly did arrive with a bang, crashing through the roof of a train before post-regeneration befuddlement saw her surprised by her new gender and unclear what to call her own tongue. Her dramatic entrance was preceded by a handy introduction to the characters that are set to be The Doctor’s companions on her adventures as the thirteenth incarnation of the two-hearted timelord. If, like me, you were hanging on for a new version of the theme tune and opening title sequence, then it appears you’ll have to wait until this Sunday - The episode ran the full hour before bothering with tune or graphics. Happily the first outing, under the direction of new boss Chris Chibnall, soon helped you forget about the missing theme, with a twisty tale of a tooth-faced alie...

"Hello, I..." [SOUNDS OF RANTING] Doctor Who, the 13th Doctor – Episode 1. “Invasion of the Manbabies”. Starring Jodie Whittaker.  CONFIDENTIAL – NOT TO BE RELEASED.  Scene 1 - Interior, TARDIS.  Doctor : Wow, this regeneration business is rough, but I feel like a new man! Assistant : Woman. Doctor: Eh? (Looks down) Crikey, I wasn’t expecting THIS! Assistant : Really? Everybody else was. Doctor : Didn’t you get killed off at the end of the last series, by the way? Cybermen or something similar? Assistant : No, that was the gay one. I’m the androgynous, gender-fluid one. Doctor : Strange, I don’t remember you. You know you’re... green, right? And have antennae?  Assistant : Of course, and they’re not antennae. (The Assistant winks with one of their three eyes.) Doctor : Crikey! (pause) I think I might use that as a catchphrase. Assistant : It’s not as good as “Geronimo” or “Alonsee”. Doctor : Do you have a name, then? Assistant : Yes, it...

[INTERNET MELTS] Doctor Who, the 13th Doctor – Episode 1. “Invasion of the Manbabies”. Starring Jodie Whittaker. CONFIDENTIAL – NOT TO BE RELEASED. Scene: Interior, TARDIS. Doctor : Wow, this regeneration business is rough, but I feel like a new man! (Looks down) Crikey, I wasn’t expecting THIS! Assistant : Really? Everybody else was. Doctor : Strange, I don’t remember you. Nice antennae! Assistant : They’re not antennae. (Assistant winks.) Doctor : Crikey! (TARDIS alarm chimes ominously. Everything looks shaky whilst the Doctor and Assistant cling to the console.) Doctor : Ooo, exciting! I think we’re crashing! CRIKEY! Scene: Exterior shot of TARDIS . Door opens and the Doctor and Assistant stumble out. Sounds of angry mob approaching.  Doctor : I haven’t even had time to change – these Y-fronts are bloody uncomfortable. Who are these people anyway? Assistant : Oh, no – Doctor, it’s the Manbabies! (A portly white male approaches – 50ish, balding, weari...