grumpyf1

(A sequel, for my friend and Niecelet Rebecca) It was a normal day aboard the pirate ship. Assorted ruffians and hornswagglers were wandering around on deck in the sunshine, trying to look tough. It had been several weeks since the lookout pirate in the crow’s nest had shouted “Land-hooooooo!” and got everyone excited, before admitting it was actually a bit of fluff on his telescope lens, and not land at all. After he’d recovered from being thrown overboard, he had spent the last week sulking in the crow’s nest, occasionally throwing weevil-infested ship’s biscuits at the angry pirates below. Red Becca stood at the very bow of the ship, one foot resting on a barrel, staring thoughtfully into the distance. A strange, clomping sound of one boot, and a piece of wood, alternating on the deck behind her, alerted her to the approach of the ship’s rather hopeless captain. “Hello, Bumchin.” Said Red, without looking over her shoulder. “Yargh!” Replied the startled pirate. “How’d ye...

(A story for my friend Rebecca.) “YAAARRGH!” shouted Captain Hairy Bumchin, wobbling precariously on the rolling deck of his ship. “SHIVER ME TIMBERS, YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!” He added. For good measure he then bellowed “HORNSWAGGLERS!” before tripping over a coiled piece of rope and landing, face first, at the feet of a determined looking young Pirate. Red Becca eyed him warily, before fixing him with her best steely gaze. “I don’t speak Pirate fluently yet.” she said. “But I think you’re saying that there’s a hole in the side of the boat.” “ARRRRRR!!” roared Bumchin, approvingly. “That there be, young fella me lad!” “Girl.” Said Red Becca, wrinkling her nose slightly in annoyance. “I’m a girl, not a boy. And that was very poor use of the English language, by the way.” Bumchin looked slightly uncomfortable. After sailing the seas for many years, being a salty old sea-dog and generally making a nuisance of himself in pursuit of some shiny treasure, he wasn’t used t...