grumpyf1

F1 2018: Catch it while you can... It’s set to be a thrilling season for Formula One fans. Both Britain’s Lewis Hamilton and Germany’s Sebastian Vettel have now achieved four world titles each, with Hamilton equalling his arch-rival’s tally last year. Who was battling it out for that title last time? Yup – those two. It wasn’t always the most gentlemanly of battles either, with Seb famously banging wheels with Lewis after he believed the Brit had brake-tested him. So far, so tremendously entertaining. True, Vettel’s team, Ferrari, along with their driver himself, lost the plot somewhat when it really counted. Happily, it looks like we may be on for another ding-dong (and potentially bodywork-bashing) re-match. The cars look a little different this year too. Imagine someone sticking the bit that goes on top of your foot from a flip-flop onto the cockpit of the cars, and you’ve pretty much got the ‘halo’. This controversial new safety feature should help protect drivers from in...

Following on from "Crystal balls...", my copy of The Cumberland News arrived today. It appears the price of the weekly paper has just gone up a bit to £1.50, so I hope they don't blame me for that. A bold claim on the front cover too: Britain's best weekly newspaper. Me (and Lewis Hamilton) appear on Page 12. It appears I have a potentially never-ending left shoulder. Love the layout, and the excerpt text box. Considering it's the same word count, it all looks like a whole lot more than the same thing in The Mail. The "Thank grumpy it's Friday" title used in The Mail is also absent, and they tweaked the end to refer to the Cumberland News instead of The Mail. All in all - chuffed with that. Column 290 got syndicated - that's a nice start to the year. Who'd have thought..? (CD A-Z: They Might Be Giants - "They Might Be Giants vs. McSweeney's.)

Careful - I think your ball is boiling... Happy New Year. If you’re still trying to eat the last of the cheese from Christmas and are shocked that Creme Eggs are already in the shops, you have my sympathy. Using my uncanny soothsaying abilities, I’ve peered hard into the mystic tea leaves and rubbed my runes to predict, with startling accuracy, what will happen during the year some are already calling 2018. You’re welcome. January : The mists are blocking my view... looks like, possibly, someone called Eleanor will have a lot of wind early in the month? Brussels sprouts overdose, probably. Hey! It’s not my fault if this is weird – it’s just what’s going to happen, OK? February : Love is in the air! Following a leak from a chemical plant, the fumes released caused numerous fatalities following the... Death. Not love. Sorry. Easy to mix those two up, isn’t it? March : Article 50 is triggered, and we can all finally get on with our lives after a painful and draining lifetime...