grumpyf1

Will they do the fandango? Malik and Lee as Mercury and May, Hot Space style I don’t go to the cinema that much. For starters, there’s no way I can drink a litre of cola (which appears to be the smallest size available now) and then sit for two hours without needing to take a ‘comfort break’. Then there’s the trauma of contending with other cinema-goers, most of whom seem to have come to talk, deliberately rustle crisp packets, or be unreasonably tall and sit immediately in front of me. It looks like I’ll have to brave all that come November, when a movie about rock band Queen scaramouches it’s flamboyant way in to your local flea pit. Cunningly titled “Bohemian Rhapsody”, it charts the history of the band from their early 1970s formation through to their remarkable performance at Live Aid in ’85, which is often cited as their best on-stage performance ever. Judging from the trailer, which was released this week, the attention to period detail looks to have been dialled up to...

It’s been a bad year for music fans.  David Bowie, Prince and George Michael are just some of the stars that have left us, along with one of the founding members of a band that have been rocking for half a century. Just a few days before Christmas, I headed up to Glasgow to catch the mighty Status Quo live. Billed as “The Last Night of the Electrics” tour, it really was a ‘last chance to see’ gig, with the band finally coming to the end of 50 years of rock’n’rollin’ on the road. Notably absent was one of the two original members of the blues and boogie combo – Rick Parfitt. Fellow founder Francis Rossi and the band delivered an evening of hits galore, shout-along crowd-pleasers one and all. I can think of very few bands that can do a couple of hours on stage, only play songs everyone knows by heart, and still have to miss out some of their greatest tunes. Parfitt was recovering from a heart attack, and had finally announced a couple of months before that he wouldn’t be re...

Thirty years ago you took O-Levels, Den was yet to serve divorce papers on Angie, you had no Neighbours and Freddie Starr was (allegedly) eating hamsters. Oh, and I went to the best gig ever. Friday, the 11th of July, 1986. I was 19, and I had big hair. I also owned a very nice grey leather jacket, which I was paying for in weekly instalments to the lady over the road with the catalogue. The world was my oyster, although fish fingers were more my level of sophistication. I had yet to try lasagne, had no idea why anyone would want a frothy coffee, and lived at home with my parents, who were distinctly unimpressed with my taste in music. Or possibly the volume. What else was a teenage lad to do? Computers barely existed (IBM were just releasing the ‘PC Convertible’, a concept so radical no-one had thought of calling it a ‘laptop’ yet), mobile phones were the size of a brick, price of a house, and only did what their name suggested, and there are only so many games of Monopoly you...

I sometimes find myself pondering entirely random things. I say “sometimes” – what I mean is “constantly”. And when I say “pondering” I really mean “failing to function as a normal human being whilst daydreaming about...” Here’s a few of this week’s strange brain-sneezes, some of which have escaped as actual words, causing startled friends and colleagues to back away slowly, whilst maintaining eye contact and smiling. Olympics closing ceremony and Spice Girls on top of taxis. Be honest – would anyone really have been upset if the driver of the car with Posh on top had “accidentally” stabbed the brake pedal a bit too hard? Don’t say you weren’t thinking about it. Manners from a 3 year old. I had the pleasure of meeting a charming young lady for the first time on Saturday. Whilst we were having dinner, I asked her a question, and she pointed at her mouth, whilst staring me in the eye and continuing to munch her food. Apparently, you’re not supposed to talk with your mou...