grumpyf1

Big, isn't it..? A long, long, time ago, I was on holiday on a Greek island, whose name eludes me – it probably had a “thos” at the end.  Out for an al fresco meal one night, the power went off, plunging all of the local area into darkness. As we were close to the sea, there was an total absence of man-made light. It was like someone had flicked the switch on a celestial light show. In an instant I saw more stars in the sky than I ever had before, eyeballed the Milky Way in all it’s glory for the very first time and experienced a quite stunning, humbling, moment - utterly beautiful. True, several large glasses of cheap local retsina may have helped enhance it, but it’s stayed long in my memory... a bit like the aftertaste of the bargain booze. Friends Of The Lake District want a piece of that sweet action (darkness, not budget plonk) and are hoping to achieve ‘Dark Sky Reserve’ status in three years. The plan is to limit artificial light pollution, which will make the a...

What’s a columnist to do when the Lake District National Park expands? Re-word a Britpop anthem, obviously. If you’ve never heard Blur’s ‘Parklife’: a) You should – it’s great b) This isn’t going to make any sense at all. In honour of the Lake District getting a bit bigger this week, I’ve done what anyone would do under the circumstances, and changed the lyrics to fit the occasion. Sorry, Blur... Oi!  Expansion is a preference for the Cumbrian area of what is known as the National Parklife The A591’s the best route straight through what is known as Parklife Lake District just got 3% bigger, that’s 27 more square miles to love of hills and fells Parklife You can go out marching, head on down to Sizergh mate, get some exercise Loads more people 300 people They all now live inside Side-by-side in their parklife Know what I mean? Lyth Valley’s open (except when flooded) where I get truly amazed by all the damsons Parklife I put my boots on, have a cup of tea an...

Brace yourselves. Tourists are starting to appear in increasing numbers, bringing with them lovely tourist cash, and a pile of irritations. On the off-chance that any of them take the slightest bit of interest in what’s happening within the local area they are parking badly in, I thought I’d offer a selection of handy advice, to help them have a pleasant stay in our beautiful area, without any of us having to kill them and bury them under the patio. Again. 1) Seriously – your phone is OK. I know you haven’t got a signal, but tear your eyes away from it for a minute, and take a look at what’s here, right now. You might get a signal if you go somewhere large. I’m sure I got a signal in Kendal once. 2) Talking of phones, try just enjoying the majestic natural beauty of Cumbria, rather than taking a tiny photo of it, which you then filter to death so it looks like something from my parents’ photo album circa 1973. You won’t be able to tweet it anyway. 3) Just because there is...