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Fantasy Formula 1 - China: The other stuff

Good evening to you. But not you - that was very rude, and if you do it again, I'm telling my Mum. It's time once more for the collection of leftovers from the Chinese GP, starting off with the slightly too-salty bubble and squeak that is: The driver and team stats! Congratulations to Henry and Nigel, who barge into the top three high scores of the season so far with  96 and 91 points apiece. At the other end of the spectrum, Heather goes from leading Fantasy F1 to bagging just 4 points in two races. Oh dearie me. But not on Tuesdays. Naughty corner? Crikey - it was a bit busy, but I guess Jaime's pit crew for causing him to be the only retirement of the race. Hero? Got to be Webber, for hauling it all the way to a podium finish from 18th, and without KERS too. The top three drivers so far are Vettel with 71, Webber on 67 (up 3) and Hamilton with 51 (up 2). Heidfeld and Button drop out of the top three. Maldonado and Perez are the only drivers not to have scored

Chinese Grand Prix - Hamilton in "looking cheerful" shock!

Before this race, I predicted that Vettel would win, Webber would stick it in a gravel trap and that the Safety Car would get it's first outing of the year. Still, nought out of three is... Yeah, you're right. Utter crap. One thing I can say with confidence though - what a great race the 2011 Chinese Grand Prix was! Qualifying turned out to be a shocker for Webber in a season where, after just 2 races, things already looked to be going badly for the man you'd least like to admit to that you'd just scratched his car. I've seen that look before - someone usually loses a limb when someone looks that annoyed. After yet more KERS issues and a dopey decision to run on the harder tyres, he was out in Q1. A good example of the argument that says you shouldn't put both you drivers out at the same time then caused Heidfeld's untimely departure in Q2. His team-mate, "Areroflot" Petrov conked out after putting in a great lap, and left everyone else with jus

Fantasy Formula 1 2011 - China Results

Breaking News: Jenson Button has been arrested after being found trying on Sebastien Vettel's underpants. Fantastic race today in China, and great coverage from the BBC and commentary from Brundle & Coulthard. Nice work guys. And now, a special report on Fantasy Formula 1 from our reporter: Me. First up, the scores for this race... And the all-important running totals: I'll be back shortly with a race report. And now, a message from our sponsor. (grumpyf1 would like to thank Tangerine Dream for their CD "Canyon Cazuma", without which the creation of these results would have been... er... less ambient.)

Fantasy Formula 1 - Malaysia: The other stuff

Hi-de-hi, campers of an F1 persuasion! Hope you've had a spiffing Monday. As usual, here's a round up of other Fantasy F1 stuff, starting off with driver & team statistics: Well done to Ian for bagging the highest score so far this season with an impressive 94 points. He's now got two of the three best scores so far. At the other end of the spectrum, Chris W manages just 13 points from this race. Naughty corner? Was anyone actually that naughty? The Hamilton & Alonso penalties seemed a little harsh, but I can't really think of anyone else doing anything particularly dumb or foolish. Damn, that's as rare as rocking horse poo. Hero? I think you can guess this one... Mr Heidfeld, for that lightning start, some top racing and holding off Webber at the end. And the nice beard and fluffy hair. His podium finish now means he has the dubious record of being the driver with most podiums without a win in F1 history. The top three drivers so far are Vettel wi

Malaysian Grand Prix - Vettel hot, but not bothered

Malaysia. It's always hot, and it always rains. Except the 2nd part is no longer true (unless you count the drizzly bit around lap 14). Saturday's qualifying session had highlighted the fact that Red Bull and McLaren seemed well matched on pace, but also that Ferrari were struggling. Whilst Vettel bagged another pole, followed by Hamilton, Webber and Button, Alonso was only 5th, and Massa 7th, with Nick Heidfeld an excellent 6th on the grid between the two red cars. At this point, I would like to break momentarily for a small rant: How many times do I have to say Heidfeld is good? Why wasn't he given a top drive years ago? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! ARE YOU BLIND!!!?? Ahem. The Hispanias somehow managed to a) turn up b) remember to bring cars c) get both of them on the track d) actually get both of them within 107%. Pretty remarkable really. Oh, and it didn't rain. Race day looked a more likely candidate for a drop of the wet stuff. The start was exciting, with

Fantasy Formula 1 2011 - Malaysia results

Wotcha. Well, that was jolly entertaining wasn't it? Unless you're Vitaly Petrov. Reaching the dizzy heights of 3rd two weeks ago, reaching the dizzy heights of 3 feet off the ground this weekend. Anyway, I digress (I am prone to that you know), so here are the scores from this race for your delectation: But more importantly, *adopts 1980's Tony Blackburn voice* here's the big top 30 rundown! Who's number 1!?  I'll be back later (or maybe tomorrow, I'm not sure... I'm lazy like that) with a race report and some other, quite literally, stunning and fascinating statistics, facts, figures and other words that sound like they're really meaningful and possibly exciting! Golly! (This evening's results are brought to you by the sound of Jean Michel Jarre's "Rendez-Vous IV (Special Remix)"... on 12" vinyl single!)