grumpyf1

Somewhere on the road between Arnside and Milnthorpe are several of my fillings, plus bits of my car which rattled off. I’m thinking of charging SLDC for repairs. Unfortunately, it looks like they haven’t got any money for that kind of thing, or maybe they’re made of sterner stuff. The early signs of spring are appearing. Snowdrops are out, daffodils are poking their heads warily through the soil, and lambs are frolicking in the fields, blissfully unaware that they might wind up wrongly labelled as something else altogether in a UK supermarket lasagne any time soon. There’s another regular spring event too – crumbling roads. I’d started to figure out where they were during my journey to work, but swerving round so many of them causes motion sickness, and the likelihood of being stopped by the police for drink-driving. Not to mention the fact that it’s probably adding miles to my journey. A nonsensical event seems to occur with a similar frequency to that of horses poppin...

We’re now firmly into that awkward time of year when councils desperately try and patch up our crumbling roads before the tourists arrive for summer. Got to look our best after all! What does it matter if a bunch of surly locals get inconvenienced massively? (I didn’t mean you madam – you look jolly nice in those wellies, and they go ever so well with the flat cap and pipe.) This does seem to happen every year, and for once I’m not being paranoid (although aliens are definitely living in my shed, and the tin foil helmet isn’t blocking their transmissions telling me to eat all the chocolate Hob-Nobs in England). We have reached the latter stages of a truly absurd bit of money saving. It seems the powers that be are now so cash-strapped, that waiting until AFTER the road surfaces have turned into something resembling footage from the moon landings before attempting repair is the norm. How big do pot holes have to be before they get filled? If I can lie down in it, is that bi...