We made it ourselves. No, really.

For some reason I'm not entirely clear about, Toro Rosso are an Italian Formula 1 team. Something to do with them formerly being Minardi, I think. Who were of course owned by an Australian. And people wonder why some folks find F1 confusing.

It's pre-pre time!

Some regulation tweakage this year means that, for the first time, Toro Rosso (Red Bull in Italian, geddit?!) actually did design their own car, and haven't just pinched the drawing from Red Bull's desk drawer in the dead of night when the security guard had popped out for a fag. Kind of hard then, to predict how they might do. They were pretty rubbish last year, but should at least beat some of the new teams - beyond that, anything else will be a bonus. Who are they likely to be able to beat though? Williams? Sauber? Tricky... Of course, none of this is helped by a fairly weak driver line up.

Jaime Alguesuari raced for TR last year in the latter part of the season. And crashed a bit. He really needs to stop that this year. Potential? Well, at least he has driven an F1 car before.

Sebastien Buemi also raced for TR last year and at least managed to hang on to his seat all season, unlike the other Seb who started at the same time. Wassisname. Wore glasses. Bourdais. Again though, he didn't shine last year, but it would be fair to say the car probably played a big part in that.

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Is it foggy? No.

When I get put in charge (which is bound to happen soon), I'm going to introduce a whole raft of new laws, for I shall be a just and fair ruler. I'm quite liking the title of 'Most Marvellous Emperor Of Sensible Regulations And Bountiful Lovingness Not To Mention Exceedingly Handsome', but it might be a bit long. On that basis, I'll settle for the more informal 'He Who Is Smashing' from my loyal subjects. Anyway, I digress. I do that sometimes - had you noticed? Here, then, is the first law that will introduced: grumpyf1 law No.1 - Turn your fog lights off, you complete git. Don't get me wrong; If it genuinely is foggy, fog lights are quite handy. The reason for introduction of this law is because 96% of the time (based on my own in-depth research) it isn't foggy when some utter cockwomble blinds you. This has always been a bit of a problem but in the last couple of years it seems to have escalated out of control, possibly because of the...

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