Tuesday? Don't talk to me about Tuesday.

I just noticed - the DVLA want me to put a stamp on the sodding envelope to post it to them as well!

Thieving gits!

Other pointless rants:

Do you know how far a cherry yoghurt spreads if you drop one on the floor? No? I do. Quite a long way.

I think I may have released an involuntary scream when I heard Kraft were going to close a Cadbury factory. When did Cadburys lose the S, by the way. Now you have to say "I'm enjoying this Cadbury Creme Egg very much". Madness, I tell you.

Why does any sci-fi programme, when showing that there has been a disaster in London, have to give us a picture of Big Ben on fire. What set light to it? What's up there that would actually burn much? Yes, Dr Who, FlashForward and the Day Of The Triffids remake, I'm talking to you!

Don't get me started on the Triffids either... how come all British Policemen suddenly seem to be carrying hand guns? Why were there loads of cars in Downing Street?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGG!!!!!

(Wages Day by Deacon Blue is trying to calm me down. It isn't working.)

Comments

The Schaf Shuffle

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Making an exhibition of yourself

Now and again, it’s good to reaffirm that you’re a (relatively) normal human being. One excellent way of doing this is to go to a business exhibition. Despite what you might have surmised from reading my previous columns, I am employable, and even capable of acting like a regular person most of the time, even joining in the Monday morning conversation about the weather over the weekend, and why (insert name of footyballs manager here) should be fired immediately. The mug! True, there are times, often involving a caffeine deficiency, where it is like having the distilled essence of ten moody teenagers in the room, but I try and get that out of the way when people I genuinely like aren’t around to see it. As part of my ongoing experiment with what others call ‘working’, my ‘job’ involves me occasionally needing to go and see what some of my colleagues get up to outside the office, and what our competitors do to try and make sure that they do whatever my colleagues do better than ...

RIP Jenwis Hamilbutton

We are gathered here in this... (looks round a bit) um... blog, to mourn the passing of Jenwis Hamilbutton. His life may have been short and largely irrelevant, but he touched the lives of so many people that... sorry? Oh. Apparently that was someone else... Jenwis Hamilbutton rose briefly to fame on twitter during 2010, when he was retweeted by BBC F1 presenter Jake Humphrey, having criticised his shirt. A similarly unspectacular claim to fame occurred when a tweet he crafted at 1am on a windy night appeared in F1 Racing magazine. An amalgam of bits of Formula 1 drivers Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button (mostly the hopeless bits), he came into existence via 3 pints of cider, a Creme Egg and the Electric Light Orchestra’s mournful 1986 farewell album “Balance Of Power”, played loudly over headphones. In his short existence, he was followed on twitter by Paul Hardcastle of “19” fame, and a bunch of slightly odd but jolly nice people, whom he was never entirely sure actually exist...

grumpyf1

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