Test drive = no drive

Having been chucked on the scrap heap by Toro Rosso (which is, of course, Red Bull Jr), Sebastien Buemi has been given the role of test & reserve driver for both his old team AND his employers.

Good, right?

Nope. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell he'll get a sniff of a run in the Red Bull - Webber and Vettel are highly unlikely to be giving up any mileage, especially during race weekends. And having decided he isn't good enough to race for them any more, Ricciardo and Vergne aren't going to be turfed out of their new seats at Seb's old stomping ground either.

Being a test driver means very little nowdays. I suspect his knowledge of the team and how they work will help the Toro Rosso boys understand where they're going wrong with set-up when the newbies won't have a clue. I also expect that's about it.

Turn the lights off when you leave, Seb.

(Poodle-permtastic '80's rock has me head-banging whilst typing tonight - which is quite tricky - in the form of Def Leppard's "Hysteria". \m/)

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Is it foggy? No.

When I get put in charge (which is bound to happen soon), I'm going to introduce a whole raft of new laws, for I shall be a just and fair ruler. I'm quite liking the title of 'Most Marvellous Emperor Of Sensible Regulations And Bountiful Lovingness Not To Mention Exceedingly Handsome', but it might be a bit long. On that basis, I'll settle for the more informal 'He Who Is Smashing' from my loyal subjects. Anyway, I digress. I do that sometimes - had you noticed? Here, then, is the first law that will introduced: grumpyf1 law No.1 - Turn your fog lights off, you complete git. Don't get me wrong; If it genuinely is foggy, fog lights are quite handy. The reason for introduction of this law is because 96% of the time (based on my own in-depth research) it isn't foggy when some utter cockwomble blinds you. This has always been a bit of a problem but in the last couple of years it seems to have escalated out of control, possibly because of the...

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