Alonso Singapore slings his hat in the ring for the title

....Oh, I'm sorry. Was I meant to be typing something....? Right.

....Erm. What, now? Sorry, bit distracted for some reason. Ahem. OK, here goes. Singapore earned it's place as my favourite amongst the new races straight away when it first joined the F1 circus 3 years ago. It just looks so fantastic and usually manages to provide a great race. Well, it did again in 2010 too. More on that in a minute though.

First off, we had two new drivers in for this race, with Christian Klien returning for the first time since 2006 in the Hispania, after Yamamoto got food poisoning. That might just be a handy phrase to cover the fact that the cash had stopped flowing. Of course, Sakon might have been.. er.... flowing himself, but I think a temporarily empty wallet might have been the problem, rather than his insides. At Sauber, Nick Heidfeld returned, replacing the hapless (and form-less) de la Rosa. Both acquitted themselves well in qualifying, Heidfeld a tidy 14th and Klien beating Senna to 22nd, which is frankly pretty bloody embarrassing for Ayrton's nephew.

And talking of qualifying.... A damp track made things interesting, but Massa didn't really have time to find out, his car conking out before he'd even done a lap. He must be wondering if he trod on a leprechaun or something. Hulkenberg had a bit of a stroppy sulky moment after only managing 17th and a surprised Schumi found himself in the top 10 for the first time since Britain (but still couldn't beat Nico). Barrichello managed a brilliant 6th, with just the 5 main championship protagonists ahead of him. Talking of which, why does all the media keep saying there are only 5 drivers in it?! Massa (OK, maybe not) Rosberg & Kubica could have all still had a shout at the championship too going into this race. Unlikely, yes, but still possible.

A final flurry of laps left Alonso on pole, Vettel 2nd (after a wall got a bit too close for comfort), Hamilton 3rd, button 4th and Webber a disappointed 5th.

Race day was dry. Alonso got a reasonable start and again attempted to put Seb in a wall, but Vettel backed off and, whilst much close racing ensued, that was where they'd stay for the rest of the race. A bent Force India brought the Safety Car out on Lap 3 and Webber swapped strategy and changed onto hard tyres. Phew. Tough gig, surely? It turned out to be wise though - once everyone else started to pit later in the race, a charging Mark blitzed past them and finished 3rd. But only by a miracle. More on that in a moment.

Lap 32 saw another Safety Car after Kobayashi became Kobacrashi again and Senna failed to spot a car parked in a wall and joined him. Schuey spent all race taking out Saubers wherever he could, but the real talking point came on Lap 36 when Hamilton (whose deeply irritating girlfriend got interviewed again by Martin Brundle on the grid whilst he tried to look down her top) attempted to pass Webber on the outside without leaving enough room for Mark on the inside. Cue another knackered car and some lobbing of steering wheel. Mind you, Webber was unbelievably lucky to finish when you saw the state of his wheel post-race. Kubica copped a puncture and then decided he wanted his old place back, overtaking loads of people in just a few laps and everyone raced hard to the end, with Kovaleinen providing some late entertainment in some kind of bizarre Finnish macho ritual where you drive a flaming car along very slowly for as long as you can, to prove what a hardcase you are. I thought the whinges from the Beeb team were a bit unfair and Crikey's explanation was simple - he didn't want to drive a car THAT MIGHT EXPLODE along a crowded pitlane, and his slow drive was because he was trying to spot a fire marshall.

So, great drive by Fernando again, with Vettel, Webber and Button behind him. Rosberg, Barrichello and Kubica were next up, but post race penalties promoted Massa to a pretty impressive 8th whilst Sutil and SulkyHulky wound up 9th and 10th. And still the championship top 5 are separated by a race win, with 4 races to go. Or 3, depending upon South Korea's tarmac drying out in time...

Next race, the great Jake Humphrey will be replaced by the lady EJ offered to dress in the F1 Forum. If you think that was a touch "old-fashioned" (or plain creepy) this was after he'd implied that a female fan must have "worked nights" to afford to get to the race. Scary stuff from an old geezer sweating profusely. Jaysus, Eddie. Yes, Lee "Just tell us" McKenzie will be in charge. Please Lee - think of something else to say before Japan. Just tell us you will.

Toons tonight provided by Status Quo (I should probably be embarrassed, but I don't give a monkey's) and their covers album "Don't Stop".

Shouting in the social media mirror

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Making an exhibition of yourself

Now and again, it’s good to reaffirm that you’re a (relatively) normal human being. One excellent way of doing this is to go to a business exhibition. Despite what you might have surmised from reading my previous columns, I am employable, and even capable of acting like a regular person most of the time, even joining in the Monday morning conversation about the weather over the weekend, and why (insert name of footyballs manager here) should be fired immediately. The mug! True, there are times, often involving a caffeine deficiency, where it is like having the distilled essence of ten moody teenagers in the room, but I try and get that out of the way when people I genuinely like aren’t around to see it. As part of my ongoing experiment with what others call ‘working’, my ‘job’ involves me occasionally needing to go and see what some of my colleagues get up to outside the office, and what our competitors do to try and make sure that they do whatever my colleagues do better than ...

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