Alonso provides happy ending for the tifosi...

If you're not a big fan of Formula 1, you probably thought that race was pretty dull.

Two things: Firstly, why are you reading this then? It's a blog about Formula 1. Are you totally nuts or what?! Secondly, it wasn't dull but in fact very tense. Okay, after the first lap or so it wasn't a thriller (cue Michael Jackson) but it was edge of your seat stuff as far as the championship goes.

For the first time this season there was no Red Bull parked on the front row, with the more traditional Ferrari & McLaren battle reconvened for the Italians' home race, and at the start it didn't look like it was going to go to plan for them. Button got a good start and even though Alonso made a robust move to intercept him (translation: He tried to barge him out of the way), Jenson was first into the first corner... just. Massa held his own against Alonso too, whilst a fast starting Hamilton was up to 4th and then challenged Felipe a bit too late. Floppy front wheels aren't generally a good thing in F1 and Lewis parked up in a gravel trap and headed home on foot. You win some, you don't make it to the end of the 1st lap... er.... some. He admitted it was his fault, which was probably sensible, as he was later than your average train in his attempt to get down the inside.

Button and Alonso fought tooth and nail for lap after lap with the Brit just in front, whilst Vettel encountered what he thought was an engine problem, but seems to have been sticky brakes. The tension remained at high voltage until lap 38, when Alonso's stop finally popped him out just in front of Button. Mind you, McLaren may as well have stuck a bloody great big advertising hoarding out in front of Ferrari's garage saying "We're going to make a stop now, care to plan your strategy accordingly?" so clearly did they signpost when they were about to stop.

Vettel unusually decided to go for his compulsory tyre change on the very last lap, but running on tyres he was happy with had done the trick. Having lost places earlier in the race with his phantom engine problem, he handily made them up at the end, finishing ahead of Webber.

Mark had spent an entertaining race watching The Incredible Hulkenberg taking a naughty shortcut at regular intervals, and can feel justifiably aggrieved as he couldn't get past the cheeky German. No penalty came though so Mark had to nail him big time later in the race.

Hispania were involved in a bizarre incident when Yamamoto bogged off from his pitstop without anyone noticing that the radio guy had his arm in the cockpit. There's some footage on YouTube - the phrase "ouch" comes to mind. They've been fined $20,000 for an unsafe release.

So at the end of the race, the final 3 were the same as in quali, Alonso, Button and Massa. Vettel made it up to 4th, Rosberg 5th, Webber 6th, Hulky 7th, a (completely unnoticed) Bob K in 8th, Schumi 9th and Barrichello 10th.

Webber sneaks back into the lead of the championship (not bad work for a guy who only came 6th) and we have the tantalising prospect of 5 fly away races with the top 5 drivers less that a win apart on points.

Formula 1? Boring? Not bloody likely.....

(NB: I would like to apologise for the flagrant lack of sarcasm and grumpiness in this report. Normal arsey service will be resumed as soon as I'm in a bad mood again. Shouldn't take long....)

(Listening to disc 2 of the remastered A-ha album Scoundrel Days. You know the sort of thing, B-sides and rarities. It's rather spiffing actually.)

Faking it for real

As Donald “I’m really great, everybody says so” Trump is so fond of pointing out, there is a lot of fake news around nowadays. Honest. Your friends at Facebook think so too, and have recently been publishing their top tips for spotting false news – by placing them as ads in newspapers. Considering they came in for considerable criticism themselves, that’s like shouting “Squirrel!” and pointing at a tree whilst you hastily kick away the prize begonias you just trampled. To help you make sense of this (and because I’m a caring person), I thought I’d run you through their suggestions and help to explain them for you. I know. I’m lovely. 1. Be sceptical of headlines READING THIS ARTICLE WILL IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE!!! And explain that catchy headlines, or stuff all in capitals might be a bit iffy. 2. Look closely at the URL You can find out more about this at www.wowyouregullible.com if you want to understand how phony web addresses are a sure sign of dodgyness. 3. Investigate...

Going Underground

The US presidential election and Brexit must have made me more nervous than I’d realised. It seems I’ve created an underground bunker without realising I was doing it. Still – we’ve all done that at some point, right? No? Ah... In that case, the fact that I have inadvertently turned my cellar into a rudimentary survival shelter, just in case it all kicks off, demonstrates a severe case of bunker mentality. Fretting about Donald and his wall, and Hillary and her emails, clearly made me more paranoid that I thought about the possibility of WW3 kicking off. Whilst attempting to find a specific size of imperial washer the other day (turns out I’d mis-filed it in the nut cabinet – Tsk!) I was struck by what a lot of jam and chutney we have in the cellar. And I do mean a LOT. There are boxes of boiled-up sugar and fruit and more boxes of boiled up vinegar and fruit. We’re still only part way through 2015’s output too. Then there’s the plastic containers holding pasta in various for...

"It's all gone quiet..." said Roobarb

If, like me, you grew up (and I’m aware of the irony in that) in the ‘70s, February was a tough month, with the sad news that Richard Briers and Bob Godfrey had died. Briers had a distinguished acting career and is, quite rightly, fondly remembered most for his character in ‘The Good Life’. Amongst his many roles, both serious and comedic, he also lent his voice to a startling bit of animation that burst it’s wobbly way on to our wooden-box-surrounded screens in 1974. The 1970s seemed to be largely hued in varying shades of beige, with hints of mustard yellow and burnt orange, and colour TV was a relatively new experience still, so the animated adventures of a daft dog and caustic cat who were the shades of dayglo green and pink normally reserved for highlighter pens, must have been a bit of a shock to the eyes at the time. It caused mine to open very wide indeed. Roobarb was written by Grange Calveley, and brought vividly into life by Godfrey, whose strange, shaky-looking sty...

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