Ding dong silently on high

SHHHHHSHH!

Great news for Cumbrian kampanaphobia sufferers this week.

Barrow’s St James’ the Great Church may be searching for new bell-ringers, but their neighbours won’t be left with a ringing in their ears.

The would-be bong merchants might be tugging away like the clappers, but it will still be a silent night as they practice their bell control, thanks to an eight-bell simulator. This tinnitus-preventing marvel is being funded by the Heritage Lottery Fund.

I have visions of people wearing VR headsets pulling on virtual ropes here, but I’m trying hard not to find that terribly amusing. However it works, it sounds (or not) like a great idea.

With a recruitment drive taking place across the country, 1,400 bell ringers are being sought this year to mark 100 years since World War One ended – 1.400 being the number of bell ringers who died in the conflict. November 11th this year will mark the moment that church bells were rung spontaneously countrywide, celebrating the end of four years of war.

According to St James’ organisers, it offers participants a “moderate workout for both body and mind”.

Perhaps I can suggest some contemporary tunes they could try out: Bjork’s “It’s Oh So Quiet” comes to mind, as does Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence”.

If the idea of this chimes with you, or strikes you as something fun and you fancy ringing the changes, you know what to do - Give them a bell.

This post first appeared as the second piece in my column/page in The Mail and the News & Star, on the 2nd of March 2018.

I do like chucking in lots of punning references, don't I? Ding dong!

(CD A-Z: Within Temptation's "Enter".)

Comments

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Is it foggy? No.

When I get put in charge (which is bound to happen soon), I'm going to introduce a whole raft of new laws, for I shall be a just and fair ruler. I'm quite liking the title of 'Most Marvellous Emperor Of Sensible Regulations And Bountiful Lovingness Not To Mention Exceedingly Handsome', but it might be a bit long. On that basis, I'll settle for the more informal 'He Who Is Smashing' from my loyal subjects. Anyway, I digress. I do that sometimes - had you noticed? Here, then, is the first law that will introduced: grumpyf1 law No.1 - Turn your fog lights off, you complete git. Don't get me wrong; If it genuinely is foggy, fog lights are quite handy. The reason for introduction of this law is because 96% of the time (based on my own in-depth research) it isn't foggy when some utter cockwomble blinds you. This has always been a bit of a problem but in the last couple of years it seems to have escalated out of control, possibly because of the...

grumpyf1

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