Storm in a cream-tea cup

Dear Sir, I am absolutely OUTRAGED... (etc.)

I visited a National Trust cafe just last weekend, at Sizergh.

I had a very nice cappuccino, and watched Nuthatches having a snack on the balustrade outside. I was lucky to get out alive really, considering the terrifying aftermath of a hideous error made by the National Trust in an advert for cream teas.

The Mother’s Day promotion, for Lanhydrock in Cornwall, scandalously showed... I can hardly bring myself to say this... a picture of scones with the jam on top of the cream. I know. I’m sorry I had to mention it and ruin your day, but this is a serious issue.

Apparently, jam on top is a Devon thing. Cornish scone-aficionados were outraged, with 300 complaining about the Facebook post depicting the desecration of a perfectly good tea-accompanying traditional snack. Some even said it “made them feel sick”, but that’s probably all the cream, to be honest.

The Trust were forced to apologise, saying it was a genuine mistake whilst, predictably, Twitter erupted with shocking battles over whether it’s cream underneath, or #JamFirst.

Lanhydrock rushed to reassure that it was merely an image mix-up, and that their catering team “would never make such a heinous mistake”. To the relief of appalled offspring throughout the county, and their mortified mums, their remorseful response concluded with a comforting “Rest assured, your mothers are safe here.”

If you have been affected by this story, and want to find out where you can safely consume a quality scone at a National Trust property, please visit @nt_scones on Twitter.

This post first appeared as the third piece in my column/page in The Mail and the News & Star, on the 16th of March 2018. The title was augmented with "Scones row was..." at the start, and accompanied by pictures of a scone and Sizergh Castle. It was also used as the column teaser on Page 2 of the paper, with a title of "It's all scone wrong for Peter Grenville this week". Nice - two scone/cream-tea puns in one issue.

A delightfully British story this, with many of those involved having their tongues firmly in their cheeks.

(CD A-Z: Suspended, as they're all in a bunch of boxes. More on that next week...)

Comments

Making an exhibition of yourself

Now and again, it’s good to reaffirm that you’re a (relatively) normal human being. One excellent way of doing this is to go to a business exhibition. Despite what you might have surmised from reading my previous columns, I am employable, and even capable of acting like a regular person most of the time, even joining in the Monday morning conversation about the weather over the weekend, and why (insert name of footyballs manager here) should be fired immediately. The mug! True, there are times, often involving a caffeine deficiency, where it is like having the distilled essence of ten moody teenagers in the room, but I try and get that out of the way when people I genuinely like aren’t around to see it. As part of my ongoing experiment with what others call ‘working’, my ‘job’ involves me occasionally needing to go and see what some of my colleagues get up to outside the office, and what our competitors do to try and make sure that they do whatever my colleagues do better than ...

"It's all gone quiet..." said Roobarb

If, like me, you grew up (and I’m aware of the irony in that) in the ‘70s, February was a tough month, with the sad news that Richard Briers and Bob Godfrey had died. Briers had a distinguished acting career and is, quite rightly, fondly remembered most for his character in ‘The Good Life’. Amongst his many roles, both serious and comedic, he also lent his voice to a startling bit of animation that burst it’s wobbly way on to our wooden-box-surrounded screens in 1974. The 1970s seemed to be largely hued in varying shades of beige, with hints of mustard yellow and burnt orange, and colour TV was a relatively new experience still, so the animated adventures of a daft dog and caustic cat who were the shades of dayglo green and pink normally reserved for highlighter pens, must have been a bit of a shock to the eyes at the time. It caused mine to open very wide indeed. Roobarb was written by Grange Calveley, and brought vividly into life by Godfrey, whose strange, shaky-looking sty...

Suffering from natural obsolescence

You know you’re getting old when it dawns on you that you’re outliving technological breakthroughs. You know the sort of thing – something revolutionary, that heralds a seismic shift it the way the modern world operates. Clever, time-saving, breathtaking and life-changing (and featuring a circuit board). It’s the future, baby! Until it isn’t any more. I got to pondering this when we laughed heartily in the office about someone asking if our camcorder used “tape”. Tape? Get with the times, Daddy-o! If it ain’t digital then for-get-it! I then attempted to explain to an impossibly young colleague that video tape in a camcorder was indeed once a “thing”, requiring the carrying of something the size of a briefcase around on your shoulder, containing batteries normally reserved for a bus, and a start-up time from pressing ‘Record’ so lengthy, couples were already getting divorced by the time it was ready to record them saying “I do”. After explaining what tape was, I realised I’d ...

grumpyf1

Search This Blog