Stepping to it is harder than you think

People in white lab coats believe walking 10,000 steps a day will significantly improve our health.

They haven’t mentioned what happens if you do more than that, but I’m hoping it’s not something terrible...

I tend to believe just about anything I see on TV and, from watching far too many scary episodes of Horizon, I came to the conclusion that I probably wasn’t walking enough.

Mind you, the number of walkers who get bashed over the head in ITV 9pm dramas is quite alarming, but it’s important to get things in perspective: Early heart attack, or moderate risk of getting brain caved in (possibly by David Tennant or Olivia Colman)?

Sure, I wander downstairs for breakfast, and then have to walk all the way out to the car to drive to work. I even have to get out in Ambleside to pick up a large cappuccino, and the staff car park must be a whole minute’s walk away from the office. I should probably be requesting company shoes.

But the doubt still remained. Was I getting the full 10K in? Probably close, I thought.

So I purchased a pedometer. It was pretty alarming, but I managed to install the battery eventually. I soon came to the conclusion that is must be faulty after wearing it all day (I even clipped it onto my underpants as soon as I came out of the shower in case I missed any paces out).

Less than 3000? In a whole day?

No. Way.

I checked the NHS website, which had this handy bit of advice: “Walking can be done almost anywhere, at any time, and in any weather. It's also a great way to get from A to B.” Really? Why did no-one ever mention this before? Good God – you mean you can actually use walking to get from one place... to another?! And at any time you like? That’s my mind blown.

Ignoring my somewhat footstep-free working days, I concluded that my weekend 5 mile walk would smash the 10,000 target a couple of times over. Nope.

However, walking to the shops and back, doing the weekend housework, putting a couple of hours in at the allotment, doing the 5 mile walk and all the other getting-from-A-to-B stuff that occurs, does. And some.

Having successfully achieved over 20,700 steps last Saturday, I found myself with several sensations taking place simultaneously 1) A sense of smug satisfaction 2) Crippling exhaustion 3) Footwear that can only be rendered safe by using fire.

With a bonus day off on Tuesday, I tried taking the long way round to the shops. I may have overdone it slightly, as it was 8.1 miles, and I lost an hour after falling asleep in the bath on my return.

Still, If I’m getting healthier, there just isn’t time for me to go to work any more if I want to keep my totals up. Shame, that.

This post first appeared as my "Thank grumpy it's Friday column" in the North West Evening Mail on the 23rd of May 2014. You can view it on their website here, where it was retitled slightly to "Stepping to it is hard work". The text was, unusually, left unchanged and unedited.

Last week's column eventually made it to the website too, so that's encouraging.

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