Skip to main content

Fantasy Formula 1: Belgium - the other stuff


... and in F1 2022 news, Pastor Maldonado has defied critics, winning his 8th World Championship for the McLaren-Ferrari team, at the Syrian Grand Prix.

In a shocking incident, Michael Schumacher (who has still failed to win another race since his comeback more than a decade ago) slightly scratched his finger after crashing his car, head on, into a wall at 300mph, before cartwheeling 12 times, catching fire, exploding, landing in a razor-blade factory, being struck by lightning, eating some very old cheese he found in the back of the fridge, walking under a ladder, kicking a black cat, putting his new shoes on a table, opening an umbrella indoors and calling Arnold Schwarzenegger 'a big girl'.

Critics and fans alike are saying that 'somebody' or 'something' should do 'some stuff' urgently about safety, to avoid anything dangerous ever happening to anyone, anywhere, at any time, ever again. Ever. Some have said this is unnecessary overreaction, but they were turned upon by the baying crowd (who, it seems, are clearly unaware of the word 'irony'), and haven't been seen since.

Now here's Sally with the interstellar weather forecast....

Naughty corner: I could jump on the bandwagon and say Grosjean, but I’m sticking with my “Maldonad’oh for President Of The Idiots” stance. He’s a penalty magnet, much more so that Romain.

Hero: Jenson. Obvious, really, wasn’t it?

Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was (are you sitting down?!) Massa, with 28 points.

Mark E makes it 12 races out front, but his margin has been cut to just 7 points. Domination over?

If you wanted to move up from last to first, you’d now only need 370 points. And everyone else to not score anything until you caught up. Should be fine, then.

In Fantasy F1 land (where it’s always sunny, and Pastor’s been banned for the next 3 seasons) Alonso leads, but with a reduced lead over Raikkonen, whilst de la Rosa scores points again, but is still last. Ferrari swap places at the front with Lotus (thanks to Felipe) and HRT are even more last than they were before. If that’s possible. I was never very good with numbers.

Apparently that Jermode D’Ambrosio out of F1 2011 will be filling Grosjean’s clumsy shoes next time out, so I’m hoping to resurrect some of my custard and creamed rice jokes. Happy days.

And when is the next race? Why, it’s this very weekend! The Italian GP is on the 9th of September, as we attempt to cram 8 races into 12 weeks. Nice.

(Tunes to accompany tonight's madness were from Paul McCartney's "Run Devil Run" album.)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"It's all gone quiet..." said Roobarb

If, like me, you grew up (and I’m aware of the irony in that) in the ‘70s, February was a tough month, with the sad news that Richard Briers and Bob Godfrey had died. Briers had a distinguished acting career and is, quite rightly, fondly remembered most for his character in ‘The Good Life’. Amongst his many roles, both serious and comedic, he also lent his voice to a startling bit of animation that burst it’s wobbly way on to our wooden-box-surrounded screens in 1974. The 1970s seemed to be largely hued in varying shades of beige, with hints of mustard yellow and burnt orange, and colour TV was a relatively new experience still, so the animated adventures of a daft dog and caustic cat who were the shades of dayglo green and pink normally reserved for highlighter pens, must have been a bit of a shock to the eyes at the time. It caused mine to open very wide indeed. Roobarb was written by Grange Calveley, and brought vividly into life by Godfrey, whose strange, shaky-looking sty...

Suffering from natural obsolescence

You know you’re getting old when it dawns on you that you’re outliving technological breakthroughs. You know the sort of thing – something revolutionary, that heralds a seismic shift it the way the modern world operates. Clever, time-saving, breathtaking and life-changing (and featuring a circuit board). It’s the future, baby! Until it isn’t any more. I got to pondering this when we laughed heartily in the office about someone asking if our camcorder used “tape”. Tape? Get with the times, Daddy-o! If it ain’t digital then for-get-it! I then attempted to explain to an impossibly young colleague that video tape in a camcorder was indeed once a “thing”, requiring the carrying of something the size of a briefcase around on your shoulder, containing batteries normally reserved for a bus, and a start-up time from pressing ‘Record’ so lengthy, couples were already getting divorced by the time it was ready to record them saying “I do”. After explaining what tape was, I realised I’d ...

Shouting in the social media mirror

It was always tricky to fit everything you wanted into the intentionally short character count of Twitter, especially when, like me, you tend to write ridiculously long sentences that keep going on and on, with no discernible end in sight, until you start wondering what the point was in the first place. The maximum length of a text message originally limited a tweet to 140 characters, due to it being a common way to post your ramblings in Twitter’s early days. Ten years later, we’ve largely consigned texting to the tech dustbin, and after a lot of angst, the social media platform’s bigwigs have finally opted to double your ranting capacity to 280. Responses ranged from “You’ve ruined it! Closing my account!” to the far more common “Meh” of modern disinterest. As someone rightly pointed out, just because you have twice as much capacity doesn’t mean you actually have to use it. It is, of course, and excellent opportunity to use the English language correctly and include punctuat...