Fantasy Formula 1: Belgium - the other stuff

... and in F1 2022 news, Pastor Maldonado has defied critics, winning his 8th World Championship for the McLaren-Ferrari team, at the Syrian Grand Prix.

In a shocking incident, Michael Schumacher (who has still failed to win another race since his comeback more than a decade ago) slightly scratched his finger after crashing his car, head on, into a wall at 300mph, before cartwheeling 12 times, catching fire, exploding, landing in a razor-blade factory, being struck by lightning, eating some very old cheese he found in the back of the fridge, walking under a ladder, kicking a black cat, putting his new shoes on a table, opening an umbrella indoors and calling Arnold Schwarzenegger 'a big girl'.

Critics and fans alike are saying that 'somebody' or 'something' should do 'some stuff' urgently about safety, to avoid anything dangerous ever happening to anyone, anywhere, at any time, ever again. Ever. Some have said this is unnecessary overreaction, but they were turned upon by the baying crowd (who, it seems, are clearly unaware of the word 'irony'), and haven't been seen since.

Now here's Sally with the interstellar weather forecast....

Naughty corner: I could jump on the bandwagon and say Grosjean, but I’m sticking with my “Maldonad’oh for President Of The Idiots” stance. He’s a penalty magnet, much more so that Romain.

Hero: Jenson. Obvious, really, wasn’t it?

Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was (are you sitting down?!) Massa, with 28 points.

Mark E makes it 12 races out front, but his margin has been cut to just 7 points. Domination over?

If you wanted to move up from last to first, you’d now only need 370 points. And everyone else to not score anything until you caught up. Should be fine, then.

In Fantasy F1 land (where it’s always sunny, and Pastor’s been banned for the next 3 seasons) Alonso leads, but with a reduced lead over Raikkonen, whilst de la Rosa scores points again, but is still last. Ferrari swap places at the front with Lotus (thanks to Felipe) and HRT are even more last than they were before. If that’s possible. I was never very good with numbers.

Apparently that Jermode D’Ambrosio out of F1 2011 will be filling Grosjean’s clumsy shoes next time out, so I’m hoping to resurrect some of my custard and creamed rice jokes. Happy days.

And when is the next race? Why, it’s this very weekend! The Italian GP is on the 9th of September, as we attempt to cram 8 races into 12 weeks. Nice.

(Tunes to accompany tonight's madness were from Paul McCartney's "Run Devil Run" album.)

Comments

The Schaf Shuffle

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We are gathered here in this... (looks round a bit) um... blog, to mourn the passing of Jenwis Hamilbutton. His life may have been short and largely irrelevant, but he touched the lives of so many people that... sorry? Oh. Apparently that was someone else... Jenwis Hamilbutton rose briefly to fame on twitter during 2010, when he was retweeted by BBC F1 presenter Jake Humphrey, having criticised his shirt. A similarly unspectacular claim to fame occurred when a tweet he crafted at 1am on a windy night appeared in F1 Racing magazine. An amalgam of bits of Formula 1 drivers Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button (mostly the hopeless bits), he came into existence via 3 pints of cider, a Creme Egg and the Electric Light Orchestra’s mournful 1986 farewell album “Balance Of Power”, played loudly over headphones. In his short existence, he was followed on twitter by Paul Hardcastle of “19” fame, and a bunch of slightly odd but jolly nice people, whom he was never entirely sure actually exist

grumpyf1

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