After a break so lengthy even school teachers reckoned they were pushing the boundaries of acceptable, F1 was back in action with a bang in Belgium.
Several bangs in fact. Many of them a bit too close to Alonso’s bonce for his liking...
Whilst Schumi was breezing past the amazing milestone of taking part in 300 GPs, Webber and Rosberg’s returns weren’t quite going to plan, with both needing to change gearboxes, with the subsequent 5 place grid penalties applied.
Nico’s duff weekend got immediately worse in Q1, as he failed to post a time sufficient to get out of the session, whilst Both Schumacher and Vettel were surprisingly out in Q2.
Button had most definitely rediscovered his form, posting the fastest time in all three sessions and bagging a dominant pole, joined at the front by Kobayashi – the first time a Japanese driver had made the front row. Maldonad’oh posted the 3rd fastest time, but yet another penalty for generally being a bit of an pillock (and blocking di Resta) dropped him down the order, handing Raikkonen the place.
Michael’s celebratory weekend continued to lack much in the way of joy, as he needed an engine change before race day.
As the grid formed, Kobayashi was clearly the hottest of them all, but not in a good way, as smoke billowed from his front brakes. He needn’t have worried – he was about to have a lot more on his mind that hot brakes come the first corner.
As the red lights lingered, Maldonad’oh set off so early it was a surprise he didn’t catch the back of the grid up, but there was little time to think about it as the mother, father, and several other close family members, of all crashes took place at turn one, as Grosjean scythed across the track and clipped Hamilton. Both drivers lost control, and Lewis piled into the back of Romain, sending the Frenchman flying over Alonso, who was minding his own business and turning in to the corner.
Hamilton crashed into him as well, but the Grosjean incident saw not just a wheel, but the whole car, smash across the top of Alonso’s cockpit, just inches from his exposed crash helmet. Luckily, he was shaken but unhurt.
Mostly unnoticed, Kobayashi got clobbered by all 3 of the other cars too, with the McLaren bouncing over his front wheel, but remarkably he was able to continue, although a pit stop to replace parts (and probably his trousers) saw his promising weekend ruined as he rejoined in last place.
Unsurprisingly, the Safety Car was required, and it led a strange bunch of cars around for a few laps, with Button followed by Raikkonen, Hulkenberg, di Resta and Schumacher, the latter 3 benefiting from the first corner calamities.
On lap 4 the fun recommenced, and Hulky made short work of passing Kimi, whilst Schumi bagged di Resta for 4th, his luck seemingly pleasingly reversed.
Vettel passed Webber for 9th, and Button was more than 5 seconds clear on lap 10, continuing his dominant weekend. Ricciardo was performing well too, passing a slow di Resta for 5th.
Schumi’s smile must have been a mile wide when he nipped past Kimi for 3rd a lap later and, as early pit stops commenced, Seb finally managed to wiggle past the sole surviving Williams of Senna for 5th.
Hulkywulky pitted from an impressive 2nd place on lap 14, briefly promoting Schumi into the position, and a couple more laps saw Raikkonen (now speedy on new tyres) taking Rosberg for 6th, with Hulkenberg doing likewise shortly afterwards.
Down the back end of the field, an accident that had been waiting to happen all season finally took place, as Kovaleinen left his pit box at the same time as Karthikeyan was coming in. Messy.
Rosberg’s attempt to struggle on with the same set of tyres was starting to look pretty daft as he was passed by Ricciardo and Webber in quick succession, with Webber then bagging his countryman for 6th. So slow was Nico, that even Massa managed to get past him too.
With Das Sebulator and Schumi having a ding-dong battle for 2nd place, Michael cunningly upped the stakes by muscling past Seb, then immediately turning in to the pit lane, sending a startled Vettel into a lurid slide.
Out front, Jenson was managing his tyres beautifully, and eventually popped in for some fresh ones on lap 21. Detained only for a teensy 2.6 seconds, he managed to get back out still in the lead. With Seb stopping a lap later, the ever-determined Kimi claimed 2nd.
Serious points contenders Hulky, Webbo and Massa all made their 2nd stops on lap 28. Who was only doing 1, though? Jenson? Seb? Kimi?
Is certainly wasn’t the chatty Finnish one – he came in on lap 29, rejoining a glorious battle which soon saw Schumi, Kimi, Hulky and... er.. Webby (sorry, it seemed a shame not to) all slugging it out for 3rd.
Karthikeyan ran out of talent on lap 32 and binned his car, whilst Kimi nipped past Schumi, only for Michael to zoom straight back past on the very next straight with a little help from the letters D, R and S. Determined not to be out-done (although that might be crediting him with actually being bothered), Kimi waited a couple of laps before nailing Michael going through Eau Rouge. I can only assume he has plenty of space in his underpants, as that needed very big balls.
It seemed Michael’s luck was on the turn again, along with his tyres, as Hulky passed him – round the outside - with 8 laps left to run, whilst Webber and Massa closed right in too. Realising the gamble hadn’t worked out, Michael pitted, whilst Massa (perhaps realising the lack of Alonso was his chance to shine) got past Webber for 5th.
Meanwhile, in the other Merc, Nico was in the same amount of trouble as his team-mate: quite a lot. Both Toro Rosso drivers passed him on lap 37, pushing him out of the points, and he gave up and pitted too.
It was great to see that having the crappiest car out there doesn’t dampen the racing spirit – Glock and Pic were having a fantastic battle of the Marussias all the way down the back end of the field.
Sennas was 8th with 5 laps to go, but was another victim of the fading tyres, tumbling down the order to an eventual 12th place finish after being forced to pit for a new set.
Out front, JB calmly drove his McLaren home for a truly dominant win. It would seem the form is currently with him, and not his twitter-happy team-mate. Vettel managed a decent 2nd considering the Red Bull’s had been less than stellar in qualifying, and Kimi yet again made it to the podium.
Grosjean subsequently received a Schumi-styled 1 race bad for his first corner indiscretion, whilst Maldonad’oh managed 2 penalties: 1 for the jump start, and another for his race-ending crash with Glock at the restart. It would have been 3, but the FIA were apparently concerned that giving him a penalty because he’s had so many penalties might cause time to stop, and the universe implode. Yes, I am blaming him for the potential end of the world now, too.
(Paul McCartney has been assisting me in writing this, by singing some tunes from his 'Off The Ground' album. Jolly decent of him, I thought.)
Comments
Post a Comment