grumpyf1

Williams finally got round to launching their car today. With many references over the previous weeks in the press about the livery, it was a bit surprising to find that it looks pretty much the same as it did before. OK, I wasn't expecting pink with orange spots or owt (Sorry - I slip into Northern speak quite often now I've been here four years), but I was hoping for at least something like the mostly dark blue they had been wearing in testing to date. Still, I guess you've got to please the sponsors, eh? I'm hoping though that the rumoured teensy gearbox and various other clever sneaky Williams bits will propel them forward when this season finally starts, and nuts to the paint-job. Come on Williams - make us smile... (Yes, I am listening to the new Take That album. I'm old, and I don't care what you think. It's rather good in fact, if you can get over your prejudices...)

The (supposed) last of the F1 test sessions in Spain finished today, and it seems that things are getting a little bit clearer now, with Vettel fastest on the first two days, Rosberg on the third and Massa today (and with the fastest time of the whole session). The fast guys do seem to be Red Bull and Ferrari at the moment, with McLaren struggling a little. Whilst this is perhaps down to them having launched their car later than the other two, and thus not having had as much time to fettle their car, this is possibly not a good sign. Mind you, it is a seriously radical car, so maybe a bit of extra time is all they need. Due to the situation in Bahrain they've got it too, with the season-opener there being postponed (and quite probably cancelled altogether). The preceding test session is also gone, but the teams have agreed to have a final test session back in Barcelona for 4 days from the 8th of March. We'll then have to wait until Australia to see where they all are pace-...

For @Feisty_Onion @BroughtonLass @LizWestmorland Me... before the grumpiness set in. Have a great weekend.

Damn. It's starting to look worrying like the opening Bahrain Grand Prix might not happen. The GP2 event scheduled for today was cancelled, due to the ongoing civil unrest requiring all medical staff to be at hospitals rather than hanging around at a racetrack. Which makes quite good sense, when you think about it. Whilst I wish the people of Bahrain a swift and satisfactory solution to their problems, I've got to say I'll be mightily sad if the race doesn't take place. Let us hope that things get sorted out quickly, but as it stands, I'm seriously thinking that we might have to wait another couple of weeks, until the Australian GP, for the season to start. It would also mean the teams can't do the testing scheduled for the week before the race, so the forthcoming session might be their last. How about all the drivers have to turn up somewhere and take part in a Superstars-style contest that weekend instead. That'd be fun. Ooh, no, hang on... It's A ...

The second round of testing finished in Jerez today, with just 4 weeks now remaining until the first race of 2011. As with the first test the week before, a different driver got the best time each day. Even more surprising was the fact that, with a total of 7 days of testing completed, 7 different drivers have been up front. This time out, Massa was fastest on Day 1, Schumacher on Day 2, Heidfeld on Day 3, and Barrichello today. Barrichello also set the fastest time of the whole session as well - quite a turn-up for the books, and hopefully a good omen for Williams. Heidfeld's performance was particularly fine, having never driven the Renault before. His time was also a full second faster that Senna, who he is vying with for the seat. Surely he's got the job now? Good to see that all the teams present ran a message of support for Kubica on their cars. With a mammoth operating session to fix shoulder, ankle and elbow problems out of the way this week, he's still faci...

5 World Champions. 1 new one, two recent ones, a very old one and that other guy with the monobrow. It would be reasonable to suggest, therefore, that 2011 should be pretty exciting. So I will. 2011 should be pretty exciting. See? I did warn you. KERS comes back this year, bigger and cleverer than before, we have movable rear wings (legally, this time), a new tyre supplier, another bunch of fresh-faced (and let’s face it, well-sponsored) drivers, 20 races and a passage to India. Can Vettel and Red Bull do it again? Can Webber make it through a whole season without falling off a bike? Will Alonso stop sulking long enough to drive well? Button or Hamilton? Schumacher, even? Or... someone new?! So here is grumpyf1's Fantasy Formula 1 2011 - welcome. This is the 16th year of FF1, but it's first time on the blog. You read the rules, pick your team, then sit back whilst your stunning combo romps to victory. That’s the idea anyway. Fancy your chances? Here’s what to do… ...

Hello. I'd like to point something out to you. Apparently the... er... thing above is one of your "cars", and is wittily titled F150. I'm sure it's very lovely and environmentally-friendly and all that, but let us get one thing abundantly clear... It looks nothing like Ferrari's current F1 car. Which is called the F150. As you can't buy a Ferrari F1 car, I don't think there's too much danger of anyone getting them confused and buying one of theirs instead of your motor. So might I suggest you grow up and stop banging on about suing them for copyright infringement? Did I just defend Ferrari? Bugger it.... (Dodgy bootleg of the night - Queen's "Dog With A Bone")

If you're Romain Grosjean or Bruno Senna (which if you are, well... er hello. You may not like this next bit...) you were probably hoping to get the odd chance to go near a Lotus-Renault-Whatever this year, and maybe (if you were extra good) even touch one. In your wildest dreams, the thought probably occurred to you that Petrov might get inexplicably lost and not be seen for a fortnight (which isn't THAT far fetched, really) and you'd get to drive the car for a race. So when Kubica had his rallying incident, you'd forgive them for thinking that this just might be their big chance. Unfortunately for them, no-one else sees it that way. Both have had a chance in F1. Grosjean was massively average, and Senna got trumped by a guy who hadn't driven an F1 car for yonks, when Klien got a go on the HRT merry-go-round. L-R-W have wisely decided to try and get hold of someone half-decent instead. Actually, there aren't many people as good as Kubica, so it's a toug...

Hands up who thinks FIFI are going to move up the field this year, and perhaps catch one of the bigger teams having an off-season? Renault, perhaps? Maybe Mercedes? Anyone? Hello? Precisely. Probably the only people bigging that up as a serious possibility are Force India's Marketing department. People who work in Marketing Departments are dribbling, incoherant nincompoops, with a twisted sense of reality. Yes, I do work in a Marketing Department, you're quite right. I rest my case. Vijay's mob came a pretty dismal 8th last year, having been reasonably quick in '09. They seriously need to arrest that slide. Slight problem is, they've been losing key technical staff as rapidly as I see off Cadbury products, so it doesn't look overly promising. Adrian Sutil keeps his seat, but isn't likely to set it on fire any time soon, despite various people trumpeting him as one of F1's next big things. Wee laddie Paul di Resta finally gets the F1 call up, and se...

Hispania have been announced dead and buried so many times, you's think they'd change their name to Zombie F1. And whilst they "launched" their new car the other day, it isn't actually going to appear until the testing immediately before the first race. Like last year. If they make it at all. And it's not clear if the car pictured above with the snazzy paint job actually exists, or if that's last year's car with a spray-job, or even just a nice computer-generated image. Still - it looks the part, doesn't it? Not like last year's cars that looked like someone forgot to finish the painting after they'd put the undercoat on. Surprisingly, they did manage to finish quite a few races last year, but had a variety of cash-friendly drivers. They've only announced Narain Karthikeyan so far, so a seat is still free. It says "This could be you" on the sidepod. I've got £30 in my wallet and I'm free most Sunday's... Li...

Who was dead last in 2009? You're thinking HRT, right? Wrong. It was Virgin. If you score no points in a season, your ultimate placing is decided upon highest placed finishes, and number of finishes. To be worse than HRT (who, lest we forget, barely even made it to the first race) is pretty miserable. One thing last year's car had going for it was a fantastic paint job. They seem to have forgotten that this year, so let's hope they've remembered to include a decent sized fuel tank, and a vast increase in reliability. Timo Glock is a pretty good driver, so he'll be hoping for a better year too. He's partnered this year by new kid Jerome D'Ambrosio. You know... that guy? No? Me neither. So Timo will be the one the team look to to develop the car. If they actually know how to do that. With HRT, these are the guys most likely to score no points and find themselves bottom of the heap. They'll be hoping Hispania make it to the first race again this year,...

It seems that, after his rally crash yesterday, Kubica's first words on regaining consciousness were to ask if his navigator was OK. I already like the guy a lot - he just went up even further in my estimation. It seems that the armco that he crashed into penetrated the car, causing much of his damage, including a partially severed hand needing 7 hours of surgery. The signs are apparently promising though, although he may need additional operations to sort out his knee and shoulder. Original suggestions that he would be out of F1 for a year now seem to be an over-estimation, but Renault Team Chief Eric Bouillier has said it will be a couple of months at least. Clearly, at this stage, these can only be guesses, until Kubica starts to recover. Renault now have the tricky problem of deciding who to put in the car in Kubica's absence. Grosjean and Senna are their 3rd drivers, but neither are likely to perform at anywhere near the level Kubica would have. It'll be interest...

Sad news this morning, when it emerged that Robert Kubica had been seriously injured in a crash it Italy on his way to a rally stage. Kubica has been competing in quite a few rally events this last year, and by all accounts is pretty damn good at it too. The incident involved his car smashing into a church wall, and has left the popular Renault driver with fractures to his right leg, arm and hand. Latest reports included a statement from his manager saying "Surgeons are trying to re-establish the functionality of his right hand." Many of Robert's fellow drivers have already sent their best wishes, and I'd like to join them in that. Get well soon Robert, we all hope to see you back in F1 soon.

Good news everyone! Apparently, new F1 tyre suppliers Pirelli have done what was suggested to them, and their tyres fade reasonably quickly. A nice bit of tyre degradation always livens things up a bit. Pushed too hard? You'll be going slower soon, then. Locked the wheels up a bit? Ditto. Stayed out a bit too long? Suckerrrrr! This should certainly help to keep races interesting by throwing in the extra dimension of drivers staying out too long, trying to get the jump on one another. It should also reward the men who are smooth with their driving style, potentially allowing them to hang on to their grip levels for longer. Jenson Button for World Champ then? Maybe not, but it'll be nice for them all to have something else to keep them busy, and us entertained, won't it? (Elvis on Radio 2 now...)

The new McLaren wasn't launched until after the first test session in Valencia had been completed, and featured a rather bizarre assembling of the car by the public, team and drivers. It does look rather like they got it wrong wit the sidepods, but apparently they're meant to look like that. It got me thinking... where have I seen that look before? Of course... Kenneth Williams' nose. McLaren are gambling on spending a bit more time in getting their car ready being better than rushing to get to the first test. We'll find out later this week if that seems to have been a good idea. Its certainly the most radical looking car, what with the weirdo sidepods, highly complicated front wing and wacko double airbox. The team will be hoping this gives them the edge on Red Bull and Ferrari that they were unable to find in 2010. Sticking with their two former World Champs is great news on that from too. Button has had a full year to get himself fully integrated into the tea...

So silly-season is upon us, and some of the teams (but certainly not all of them) have completed the first test session over 3 days in Valencia this week. With assorted new regulations, the return of KERS, adjustable rear wings, new drivers, some teams still using old cars (notably McLaren), differing fuel loads and Pirelli replacing Bridgestone, it rapidly becomes clear that a fast lap time doesn't necessarily mean a great deal, so great are the variables. What was obvious though, was that the good teams are still good. Vettel was fastest on day 1 and Alonso on day 2. With McLaren running last year's car until the next session, the gates were open for another team to be up their too, and Renault-Lotus-Whatever stepped up ro the mark, with Kubica posting not only the fastest time on day 3, but the quickest of the session. Mercedes seemed to be struggling, and Lotus missed some time waiting for parts. Massa wasn't over-chuffed to get a bash in the Ferrai and discover i...

OK. So when I wrote the blog post about Sauber recently, I said the driver partnering Kobayashi was Pastor Maldonado. I even did my Pasta Carbonara joke. I am, of course, a tit of monumental proportions, as it's actually Sergio Perez in the Sauber, and Maldonado in the Williams. I get easily confused nowadays you know. What with the vagueness and the short attention span I... Oh look! It's stopped raining!

I'm confused. I know that's not a big surprise to many of you, my default expression usually showing something like that anyway. But that's a new Williams car, right? And Barrichello out testing it in Valencia, yes? But Williams haven't launched their 2011 car yet. I guess there's no law saying you can't just go out and use your shiny new motor, but tradition suggests that you usually show it off to the press a bit first, whilst your drivers wear freshly-ironed race suits and make sure their hair is combed nicely and they flossed their teeth after last night's super-healthy meal. Williams never seem particularly bothered with the usual showy bit of F1 though. If it doesn't make the car go quicker, they aren't interested. Good for them. Rather liking the colour scheme I have to say. But apparently that's interim too. This may all have to do with new signing Pastor Maldonado and his big sponsorship money, of course. Untried in F1, and definit...

I still don't know what the point of the Toro Rosso team is. I guess Red Bull can pinch any useful ideas or data from them, but it would seem to be a rather expensive way of improving your car. The similar colour scheme is always a headache too. Their new car, launched earlier this week, looks fine and it's good to have as many teams as possible on the grid. Their problem now is that, with three new teams in the sport last year finding their feet, its quite possible they could be caught and overtaken by one or more of them this season.  I know they came from the remnants of the old Minardi squad, but winding up at the back of the field with HRT probably won't be a good thing. The concept that they are a team where the Red Bull driver programme can get its young drivers up to speed doesn't seem particularly valid either. In Jaime Alguersuari and Sebastien Buemi they have two drivers with a moderate amount of experience, but neither has really made much of a name fo...

Two years ago, this team were World Champions, after resurrecting the abandoned Honda Team. They did do a brilliant job but, lest we forget, that car was designed by Honda with their multi-million pound input and years of experience. The slow tail-off in performance over 2009 highlighted Brawn's slip from the pinnacle once left to their own devices. Last year, having been brought out by Mercedes, the slip continued, although they managed to be comfortably the 4th best team after the title contenders. Even with Michael Schumacher driving. And yes, that does still sound weird. Schuey was disappointing last year. He's still a bloody good driver, but was comprehensively outshone by Britney in the other car. Princess Nico was very good though, and the car clearly didn't suit Michael. Things move fast in F1, and the lack of testing available clearly hampered the 7 times World Champ. So 2011 is crunch time for Michael, Mercedes and, to a lesser extent, Rosberg. Michael needs...

Drivers Championship title. Constructors Championship title. Heady stuff. But look where it got Brawn GP... It's easy to drop the ball in F1 - you spend all your resources and energy trying to stay ahead of your rivals, and then discover that you were so busy doing that, you didn't give enough time to preparing for next year. Not that I'm saying the RB boys have done that - if not for some bad luck and occasional driver brain-fade issues, they clearly had the fastest car of the season, and should have mopped up the titles way earlier than they did. But both Ferrari and McLaren were a bit off the ultimate pace at times last year, and Brawn's transition into Mercedes saw them not just drop the ball, but seemingly forget that they had one in the first place. So can Red Bull maintain their momentum, and provide the highly talented Vettel and wise-old Aussie Webber with a car they can take another run at the title with? Early days, but the first round of testing cert...

When Peter Sauber rescued the team that used to bear his name after BMW legged it out of the exit door, he probably knew he was going to wind up pretty much back where he left off a few years before. Midfield. After startling everyone with some super-fast times in testing last year, it looked like the car the Beemer Boys had designed might actually be a cracker. It turned out it was in-fact distinctly average. At this point, please have a ponder about that eh? Someone quick in testing, but crap when the season gets underway? You've been warned... Anyway, the new motor looks tidy enough, but I can't say I'm expecting anything other than the usual though - there doesn't seem to be anything radical going on, does there? Driver-wise, they don't have any experienced old-hands this year, having dumped Heidfeld (grrrrr) in favour of the wallet friendly Pasta Carbonara. Sorry - Pastor Maldonado. Don't expect miracles there then. The team are interested in him for ...

Trying to look like a successful car from the past that was actually the colour scheme of a cigarette brand? That'll be the Renault-Lotus-Whatever team, then. On the positive side, whilst their name (whatever it actually is) will cause confusion with Team Lotus this year, at least the colour scheme won't. The idea of 4 green and gold coloured cars with near-identical names was number 1 stupid idea of the year. Already causing a bit of a stir are the car's odd popping-out-of-the-front-of-the-sidepod exhaust exits. If the first round of testing is anything to go by, the car seems quick, with Bob K fastest on day 3. Kubica is a great driver, who should be in a top team, and could well bag a championship, given the right car. Could this be the right car....? Kubica's talent might just be dragging it higher up the pecking order than it would normally be, though. In the other seat, surprisingly, is Petrov. Patchy last season, he was occasionally great (especially hol...

He's gone again. Bet you didn't notice. Once more, Nick Heidfeld has slipped out of F1 without anyone bothering to mention it. That annoys me - he may not have had the ultimate pace of some his championship-bagging fellow drivers, but he never managed to be in the right place at the right time either, always seeming to be at teams before they hit their peak, or after they had seem better days. A comeback last season with Sauber once again saw him putting in great performances in an average car, comfortably matching up-and-coming nutcase and major accident waiting to happen Kobayashi, even though Nick hadn't driven the car before he was drafted into the team. The usual winter round of musical chairs have left him once more, without a drive for 2011. And that's a shame. His name will drift off into F1 history as one of the many average drivers who bagged some points, and was around for a long time. And that's not fair. He deserved better. (Still on the Midge...

OK, I think this is definitely the sexiest F1 car of the season. I know some haven't been launched yet, but they'll have to go it some to beat Team Lotus. It's a beaut. Massively more sophisticated than last year's effort, this one actually looks the part. Good on Team Lotus too for sticking to their guns over the naming rights argy-bargy going on with the Renault-Lotus version. The plucky little blighters with Mike Gasgoyne at the helm are a friendly, dedicated bunch, who seem to be going about the business of Formula 1 in a less corporate, buttoned-down way than most of their loftier competitors. Me likey. Their aim for this year is to be bagging regular points and challenging Williams and Renault (or whatever they are now) by season's end. I really do hope they can. Whilst the car is all-news, with no carry-overs from last season, they are without KERS though, which could be a disadvantage. With experienced old-geezer drivers Jarno (pouty) Trulli and Crike...