It's good to be back...

Returned today from a lovely week in Coverack in Cornwall. Weather was mostly "challenging" but got a walk or two in and had a relaxing time. Did you know that Cornish people are legally obliged to sell you a pastie is you knock on their door and they live under 100ft from the sea? It's true. A very nice old lady provided us with two that were so hot that even by the time we'd driven for three-quarters of an hour, then walked down cliffs to a beach, lounged around for a bit then decided to eat them, they were still warm. And delicious.

Managed to catch the re-run of the Australian GP. Great race - see? F1 isn't boring after all. Just add water! Great drive by Button and amusing to see Hamilton irritated by his team's decision. Doesn't like being beaten, does he?

Managed to get home in time tonight to see Matt Smith's appearance as the new Doctor Who. I thought David Tennant was brilliant, but Smith got off to a great start in a witty first outing, along with his new companion, the delectable Amy Pond, in a story with an escaped alien prisoner being chased down by his jailers, who were fine with the idea of destroying Earth if he didn't turn himself in. Good to see that the Tardis got a regeneration in and managed a paint-job too. Liked that a lot. Why the St John's badge on the door though....? Did you spot the coat stand? It's been missing in action for a long time. Only complaint was the re-worked theme music. More, please! (Episodes, not the music...)

And tomorrow is the Malaysian GP with Webber on pole...

Happy Easter everyone!

Comments

Making an exhibition of yourself

Now and again, it’s good to reaffirm that you’re a (relatively) normal human being. One excellent way of doing this is to go to a business exhibition. Despite what you might have surmised from reading my previous columns, I am employable, and even capable of acting like a regular person most of the time, even joining in the Monday morning conversation about the weather over the weekend, and why (insert name of footyballs manager here) should be fired immediately. The mug! True, there are times, often involving a caffeine deficiency, where it is like having the distilled essence of ten moody teenagers in the room, but I try and get that out of the way when people I genuinely like aren’t around to see it. As part of my ongoing experiment with what others call ‘working’, my ‘job’ involves me occasionally needing to go and see what some of my colleagues get up to outside the office, and what our competitors do to try and make sure that they do whatever my colleagues do better than ...

Unstable Stables: Throw away the key

It’s comforting to know that there is one less threat to the people of Cumbria this week, following the conviction of white supremacist, Ethan Stables. The 20 year old from Barrow had planned to attack the town’s New Empire pub in June 2017, in the midst of a gay pride event. Despite social media posts saying he was “going to war” and planning to “slaughter”, online searches about how to make bombs and chemical poisons, and expressing hatred of Muslims, Jews and gay people, he claimed his online comments were merely to impress far-right friends. Fortunately, following Facebook posts about his intentions, the police were tipped off and armed officers intercepted him as he headed towards the pub. His aim was to kill anyone he found, with a machete. In a bizarre slip-up, Stables had erroneously added an innocent woman to his neo-Nazi Facebook group. When he vented his outrage at the Furness LGBT support group’s event, the shocked woman contacted the authorities. He’ll have ple...

Is it foggy? No.

When I get put in charge (which is bound to happen soon), I'm going to introduce a whole raft of new laws, for I shall be a just and fair ruler. I'm quite liking the title of 'Most Marvellous Emperor Of Sensible Regulations And Bountiful Lovingness Not To Mention Exceedingly Handsome', but it might be a bit long. On that basis, I'll settle for the more informal 'He Who Is Smashing' from my loyal subjects. Anyway, I digress. I do that sometimes - had you noticed? Here, then, is the first law that will introduced: grumpyf1 law No.1 - Turn your fog lights off, you complete git. Don't get me wrong; If it genuinely is foggy, fog lights are quite handy. The reason for introduction of this law is because 96% of the time (based on my own in-depth research) it isn't foggy when some utter cockwomble blinds you. This has always been a bit of a problem but in the last couple of years it seems to have escalated out of control, possibly because of the...

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