New track, exciting layout, great corners, dusty - on paper, the shiny new Indian GP should have been a belter.
Initial jitters and teething problems (multiple power failures, commentary boxes with no windows, dog caused red flagging of FP1) happily melted away in the 30C sunshine, but at least one thing was constant - Hamilton was in trouble with the F1 fuzz yet again, failing to slow down while yellow flags were being enthusiastically waved during practice, netting him a 3 place grid penalty, along with Perez. For Lewis, 2nd in quali became 5th on the grid, leaving a Red Bull lockout at the front, with Seb on pole again, followed by Webber, Alonso and Button.
Vettel scampered off at the start - that's all you really need to know about his race, as no-one got ahead of him for the duration. Jenson tried hard (as usual), but never got the gap down enough to mount a challenge.
Jenson passed Webber after the first few corners, whilst multiple shunts occurred down the cheaper end of the field. As Seb pulled gently away, Jenson struggled to keep the win-free Aussie behind. The pattern stayed the same for a fair while, until Lap 24....
Hamilton and Massa resumed their Hate/Hate relationship, as Felipe slammed the door shut on Lewis's attempt to pass, sending both drivers off-track, and removing expensive aero parts. A little surprisingly, the angry Brazilian was the one to get a penalty this time, ensuring that the air of mutual disrespect continues as the end of the season approaches.
Buemi was doing well and heading for a points finish when his Toro Rosso conked out, leaving body language interpreters with an easy job of figuring out how he felt. I though he was about to find a branch and launch into a Basil Fawlty vehicle thrashing impersonation. Good to see some enthusiasm, eh?
Massa's yet-another-crap day continued when his front wing appeared to have been manufactured from the same plastic you find surrounding biscuits in a Christmas selection box, so violently did it flex. Still, it didn't matter - he then made the same error he did in quali, and went so far over one of the kerbs, his wheel entered a different time zone, and his suspension collapsed faster than my diet when faced with a Creme Egg.
Concerns over the speed of the hard tyre had been put to rest by the time JB tried a sneaky undercut on lap 47, but Red Bull were once again flawless, bringing Herr Pointyfinger in straight away.
The Merc boys provided some light relief in the last 10 laps, as Schumi and Britney raced each other, but nothing much came of it.
Which is pretty much how you'd describe the whole race, really. A simple victory for Seb, a great drive by Jenson, respectable finishes for Alonso and Webber, and Massa and Hamilton contesting the same piece of track again. Ah well. Maybe next year, eh?
Red Bull and Vettel busted some more records for good measure too - Most poles in a season, equalling the most poles by one driver, and beating Mansell's record of most laps led in a season.
At least McLaren has the satisfaction of securing second in the championship.
The final word must go to Eddie Jordan though, who was in fine, baffling, form this weekend: "Every door I open is poised with problems".
Thanks, EJ. Couldn't have said it better myself.
(Still listening to that Joan Armatrading best of. I'm Lucky.)
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