Fantasy Formula 1: Korea - the other stuff

Evening, sweet cheeks.

Oh, sorry - I thought you were someone else. *cough*

Anyway, it seems Massa has now been signed by Ferrari for 2013, giving him the exciting prospect of another 12 months to look at the back of Fernando's car AND NOTHING ELSE.

This also ties in nicely with a splendid story claiming the Sebulator has already signed to Ferarri for 2014, with Nando's approval (the bushy eyebrow-owning Spanish driver, not the purveyors of chicken products). Really? Can you imagine how knackered Rob Smedley will be repeating "Fernando is faster than you, back off" endlessly on the radio? Or how high the probability would be of Fernando not hearing a message that says "let that cheeky German chap in the red car past, please, Fernando"...

Still... it'd be a bloody good laugh for us, wouldn't it? Bring it on!

And now, the untidy bits of Fantasy Formula 1 stuff that wouldn't fit in anywhere else, and the bin was full anyway:

Naughty corner: Oh dear, Kamui. You’d quite like a contract for next year, wouldn’t you? Twatting Jenson and Nico at the start really isn’t going to help...

Hero: Either Ricciardo for moving up 12 places during the race, or Hulkywulky for that brilliant overtake on Grosjean and Hamilton. Go on – you decide.

Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was the Sebulator, with 27 points.

Elmon manages a second race out front, after Mark E led for 14 races, but Ollie C continues his climb from near the back of the field and now lies an ominous second, just 62 points away from the front...

Just 439 points between first and last place – it’s all to play for*! (* = No, it really isn’t.)

It may be the other way round in the real world, but in FF1 Alonso is still first, with Vettel now moving up into a close 2nd, finally demoting Raikkonen from the position he’s held for ages. Karthikeyan is way down the back. Still. Ferrari are the best team, but Red Bull have now overtaken McLaren for 2nd. You’ll be unsurprised to learn that HRT remain last.

Aw. Olie B’s seemingly never ending march up the table has come to an end. It was fun while it lasted.

Next race: It’s hello India time! 28th October, breakfast time (if you’ve got Sky) or tea-time highlights (on the BBC). Or watching the highlights on Monday after trying to avoid the results because you foolishly agreed to go away for the weekend, knowing deep down that you’ll see it on twitter, or hear it on the train or something, you massive berk. D’oh.

(I'm still listening to that New Musik CD, yes.)

Faking it for real

As Donald “I’m really great, everybody says so” Trump is so fond of pointing out, there is a lot of fake news around nowadays. Honest. Your friends at Facebook think so too, and have recently been publishing their top tips for spotting false news – by placing them as ads in newspapers. Considering they came in for considerable criticism themselves, that’s like shouting “Squirrel!” and pointing at a tree whilst you hastily kick away the prize begonias you just trampled. To help you make sense of this (and because I’m a caring person), I thought I’d run you through their suggestions and help to explain them for you. I know. I’m lovely. 1. Be sceptical of headlines READING THIS ARTICLE WILL IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE!!! And explain that catchy headlines, or stuff all in capitals might be a bit iffy. 2. Look closely at the URL You can find out more about this at www.wowyouregullible.com if you want to understand how phony web addresses are a sure sign of dodgyness. 3. Investigate...

Going Underground

The US presidential election and Brexit must have made me more nervous than I’d realised. It seems I’ve created an underground bunker without realising I was doing it. Still – we’ve all done that at some point, right? No? Ah... In that case, the fact that I have inadvertently turned my cellar into a rudimentary survival shelter, just in case it all kicks off, demonstrates a severe case of bunker mentality. Fretting about Donald and his wall, and Hillary and her emails, clearly made me more paranoid that I thought about the possibility of WW3 kicking off. Whilst attempting to find a specific size of imperial washer the other day (turns out I’d mis-filed it in the nut cabinet – Tsk!) I was struck by what a lot of jam and chutney we have in the cellar. And I do mean a LOT. There are boxes of boiled-up sugar and fruit and more boxes of boiled up vinegar and fruit. We’re still only part way through 2015’s output too. Then there’s the plastic containers holding pasta in various for...

When in Rome...

...have a Grand Prix. Seems that the idea of a street race around Rome is on the cards. That'd be pretty exciting, wouldn't it? Any other suggestions? Basingstoke? Didcot? Reading? "And here's Alonso on Broad Street, just past Heelas and getting dangerously close to the Marks & Sparks cardigan display".... No? OK then. (More MP3 toons - Enigma "La Puerta Del Cieulu")

grumpyf1

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