Skip to main content

And this week’s environmental outrage is...

Never forget...

How quickly we forget. This week, we’re all vexed about the amount of plastic packaging we use, and applauding Iceland for saying they’re going to phase out the use of it on their own-brand products by 2023.

I was delighted to see some of my Tesco fruit and veg arrive loose in a brown paper bag when our delivery arrived at the weekend. First time ever, mind.

But it was only a couple of weeks ago that disposable coffee cups were the enemy of the environment, and column inches were filled discussing the potential effectiveness of a ‘Latte Levy’ of 25p per cup for these single-use villains.

I’ve got another suggestion to put forward, which you can ponder whilst you enjoy your next Taxachino. How about a priority queue? You bring your own re-useable cup along, and by waving it in the air (and maybe in the increasingly angry faces of the cup-less) you get to move up the queue until you are behind other ever-so-slightly-smug cup claspers.

Apart from the warming drink, you also get the additional warm glow of knowing you haven’t further added to the tonnes of un-recyclable waste produced by our frothy coffee obsession. Plus, because human nature is a complicated thing, you get to feel superior to other people.

Are you listening, Costa, Starbucks and the other coffee giants? I’ll accept a year’s supply of cappuccino (dash of chocolate sprinkles and one sugar, thanks) as reward for my unbridled genius. And maybe some shortbread.

Warning: I wouldn’t recommend trying this until it has been officially introduced, or you may need the cup to carry your front teeth home in.

This post first appeared as the third piece in my column/page in The Mail and the News & Star, on the 19th of January 2018.

Although light-hearted in intent, I do actually think this could work...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to Costa del Barrow

Feel that sudden chill in the air? It’s winter, heading this way. Or you’ve left the fridge door open. One of those, definitely. According to people with the word ‘meteorologist’ somewhere in their job title, it has been the driest September since records began. Hardly surprising, really – the wettest winter on record immediately beforehand almost certainly used up all the available rain in the sky early (Note to self: check the sciencey stuff, it doesn’t sound quite right). With just 20% of the normal rainfall of the most Septembery of months, 2014 trounced the previous record holder, good old 1959. Whilst this may have led to less plump courgettes, and parched blue tits mugging you for your bottle of mineral water, it does have a beneficial side-effect: Your granddad will finally have to stop saying “Dry? You don’t know what dry is! When I were but a lad...” Clearly disappointing for grandpops, especially so soon after the “Wet winter? Pah! When I were but a lad...” sto...

(National) Parklife

What’s a columnist to do when the Lake District National Park expands? Re-word a Britpop anthem, obviously. If you’ve never heard Blur’s ‘Parklife’: a) You should – it’s great b) This isn’t going to make any sense at all. In honour of the Lake District getting a bit bigger this week, I’ve done what anyone would do under the circumstances, and changed the lyrics to fit the occasion. Sorry, Blur... Oi!  Expansion is a preference for the Cumbrian area of what is known as the National Parklife The A591’s the best route straight through what is known as Parklife Lake District just got 3% bigger, that’s 27 more square miles to love of hills and fells Parklife You can go out marching, head on down to Sizergh mate, get some exercise Loads more people 300 people They all now live inside Side-by-side in their parklife Know what I mean? Lyth Valley’s open (except when flooded) where I get truly amazed by all the damsons Parklife I put my boots on, have a cup of tea an...

A very modern malady

Hello. I’m Doctor Grenville, and I’m here today to talk to you about SSS – or “Sad Selfie Syndrome”, to give it it’s full medical name. I’m a fully qualified medical doctor thing – I’ve got a PhD from Queens University Academy College Kendal (or “QUACK” for short) to prove it. That means it’s OK for me to talk to you about a very sensitive subject today and stroke your knee. Soothing, no? In my many years of medicinalising practice, I’ve come across some terrible afflictions. I’ve seen Achey Breaky Heart, Kneesles (where you get an itchy rash on your kneecaps) and even a very rare case of the Mercedes Benz. But recently I started seeing shocking images, on social media, graphically showing the devastating results of SSS. If you haven’t heard of it before, you’ve almost certainly seen pictures of what happens to the victims, who are mostly under the age of 30. We’ve already come to understand the irrational, overwhelming need for some amongst this group to photograph everythin...