What do you call two silver things that cost millions of pounds and keep crashing into each other? The Mercedes Formula 1 team.
You’re right – that isn’t funny. Which is exactly how team boss Toto Wolff saw it when Nico Rosberg ‘forgot’ to turn into the corner on the last lap of the Austrian Grand Prix last week, causing his team-mate to crash into him on the very last lap.A sure-fire 1-2 finish turned into an acrimonious 4-1, as Hamilton took the win from Rosberg, and the chastened culprit limped home with a damaged car.
Sure, it’s not exactly the world’s biggest problem, as the drivers remain 1st and 2nd in the championship title hunt, and the team themselves are comfortably leading the constructors’ table. But it does highlight a problem for them that refuses to go away; If these two highly-paid racers can’t play nicely, and the other teams catch up a little, they could well start taking each other out of two races – the one on the track, and the one for the title.
And what do points mean? For the teams, the higher you finish in the championship, the larger the slice of the financial prize pie you get. This isn’t just about pride and prestige; it’s about cold, hard, cash.
How timely it is, then, that the F1 circus rolls into Silverstone this weekend for the British Grand Prix. Either of the two title protagonists could walk away from the event in the lead.
For Rosberg, it would extend his season-long run at the pointy-end. For Hamilton, a win would be a glorious moment for him and his adoring fans at his home race, and maybe enough to put him at the top. That home support may be just what he needs to take charge and demoralise his rival.
Whether you like him or not, the blinged-up boy with the famous chums and expensive lifestyle is clearly supremely talented, and already a multiple-title winner. For his German rival, beating Lewis would open up his slender points lead, but would undoubtedly be less popular – especially after last weekend.
And what of the other Brits at the British GP? Jolyon Palmer is in his first season racing at the pinnacle of motorsport, and currently drives for Renault – the word “pointless” neatly describes both his current points tally and his hopes of winning the race, or even getting in the points.
At the other end of the experience scale, Jenson Button is in his 17th season and piloting the slowly-improving McLaren. A win seems highly unlikely, but would undoubtedly be a hugely popular moment in a sporting year low on British success. A spot of rain would help.
Should this be the popular Brit’s last season in F1, a certain shouty ginger bloke has recently left a (formerly) successful BBC motoring show. JB would be an excellent replacement.
See you on the sofa on Sunday. Bring munchies. And earmuffs – I may be doing a lot of shouting at the TV.
This post first appeared as my "Thank grumpy it's Friday" column, in the North West Evening Mail, on the 8th of July 2016. The paper retitled it as 'Car crash TV at its finest...', which may be their best ever change. Nice one.
It was indeed a suitably tense race, which never quite reached the potential it promised. On the bright side, the subsequent time penalty for Rosberg puts him just 1 point ahead of Hamilton. Bet against Lewis winning another title? Nah. Nice try Nico.
Listening to a strangely beautiful thing - a piece of music called "I Am The Doctor" from Doctor Who, but slowed down by 500%. Sounds odd, no? On the contrary - broodingly lovely... check it, as they say, out...
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