A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (well,
Oxfordshire, actually) I ran a half marathon.
I say “run”. I walked a bit. Oh, OK a lot. Nearly all of it,
yes. It was hideous. Within the last 2 miles you had to pass a pub, where all
the people who were actually quite good at running, and had therefore already
finished, had assembled to drink to their extreme nippiness, and cheer on the
slow-coaches. Smashing.
Advancing years, and a pathological fear of exercise, mean
my running days are limited to a dash for a train. Even then I need oxygen and
a muscle rub. The ticket inspectors say that isn’t their job, but they need to
consider their customer’s needs, before calling the police.
I am therefore flabbergasted that anyone can run a whole
marathon, especially since they got renamed to “Snickers”. (Actually, now I
come to think of it, that may have something to do with those athletes that had
already completed the half-marathon back in the mists of time, watching me
wheeze my way past.)
At 9.30 this morning, 18 people set off to do a marathon,
looping around Windermere, which happens to handily be exactly the right
distance. Plus it has the advantage of making it hard to take a short-cut,
unless you happen to have a wetsuit on under your running gear, which is
apparently not a very good idea – the squeaking upsets nesting wildfowl. They won’t
be setting record-breaking times, and there’s a very good reason for that. You
see, they’ll be doing another marathon tomorrow. And the day after that. AND
the day after that too. In fact, they’ll be doing 10 marathons in 10 days.
That’s nuts, right? They’ll complete their final ‘lap of
honour’ on the 20th, with all the “lightweights” taking part in the
Brathay Windermere Marathon, who are doing just the one. I struggle to get out
of bed some mornings – I can’t quite comprehend what it must feel like to wake
up knowing you’re doing yet another marathon.
They’re doing this to raise funds for Brathay Trust, the
Ambleside-based charity that inspires young people to become successful,
confident and responsible citizens. I work for Brathay (when I say work, I’m
pretty sure most of my colleagues think I’m the photocopier repair man), so I
know the funds raised will go to good use.
But surely there are easier ways to raise money? Why the
hell would you put yourself through the pain and mental torture of 10 marathons
in a row? Anything else would surely be better – a parachute jump,
bungee-jumping, sitting in a bath-full of baked beans for an afternoon. Anything!
I don’t have an answer, and I’m not sure they do either.
What I do have is the utmost respect for these men and women. They are mad –
but in a good way. Visit www.brathaywindermeremarathon.org.uk
if you want to know more.
Have a good weekend.
If you can.
(This post first appeared in my 'Thank grumpy it's Friday' column in the North West Evening Mail on - oddly enough - Friday 11th May 2012. This is the unedited version - you can view the printed/online version here: http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/columns where it was retitled 'Respect for runners' by their wise sub-editors.)(Soothing musical accompaniment tonight from "Looking Back - The Best Of Daryl Hall & John Oates.)
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