Run, Fatboy, Run! (Or walk...don’t overdo it.)

You know how you keep saying you’ll go out for a walk, and then don’t? Then think it might be a bit tiring, so don’t? Then eat a cake (or three), then don’t? Then just don’t? Guilty as charged.

I'm unfortunate enough to be intrinsically lazy. I love walking, but faced with the tough choice of another chocolate HobNob or getting a bit puffed out on a big hill, I'll go for the instant gratification and non-sweaty option. Mind you, I do get quite excited about biscuits, so sometimes it’s hard to spot the difference.

This has presented me with a bit of a problem. I'm now seriously unfit, having done just one walk in 2011. So I decided to set myself a little challenged for 2012 - Walk 200 miles during the course of the year.

Sounds easy, right? Yeah - I've only got to do 3.8 miles per week. I have set myself some rules - strolling to The Bakehouse in Arnside for a cappuccino doesn't count; it has to be a walk for the sake of a walk. Distances of under a mile don't count either.

3.8 miles a week. Easy. Yeah. Except I work (allegedly, although I defy anyone to prove what it is I actually do), so in the winter, weekdays are out. Still, 3.8 miles every weekend - can't be that hard, can it? Can't miss a weekend though, or I'll need to do 7.6 miles the next week. And I live in Cumbria - it only has one weather setting, and that's why we have those big lakes.

So I decided to get started promptly. Every weekend this year I’ve done 3.5 miles over Arnside Knott. I’m lucky to be alive. The mud factor was pretty high the first weekend (so was the out-of-breath-possibly-having-a-heart-attack factor going up), and since then I’ve been frozen, hit in the face by a branch in a gale, seen rain going sideways (that stings, by the way) and contended with loads of dogs. Oh, and small children making it look easy.

I’ve found my trusty Android phone’s mp3 player invaluable, although trying to get up a steep thing whilst walking in time to Queen’s “Staying Power” was nearly the last thing I ever did. Actually, so poorly was the album it came from, it was nearly the last thing Queen ever did too.

I'm pathetic. And I have a lot more walking to do. Did I mention I want to lose half a stone too? I had to deny myself chocolate this evening.

If you hear of a murderous rampage in South Cumbria over the next couple of weeks, it'll be me. Assuming I'm able to get out of the chair.

This blog post appeared earlier this week as an entry in the North West Evening Mail's "Big Blogger" competition. Do me a favour - click on this link to view it on their website, please? That way, I register a hit, and stand a chance of getting through to the main competition. I bloody love you, I do!

(Fabulousness via the headphones tonight - the 2011 remaster of Queen's "Jazz" album. Mmmmmm. Rocktastic.)

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