Fantasy Formula 1 2011 - Monaco results

What-ho, chaps!

Well the annual romp around the principality was highly entertaining, wasn't it? Not least because a certain McLaren driver with an odd 'beard', oddly big sunglasses, odd girlfriend and massively big chain of Harry Ramsdens on his shoulder went off on one post-race, and displayed a level of paranoia, by implying that everyone and everything is out to get him, that was breathtakingly arrogant, but bettered only by trying to drop in an Ali G "Is it because I is black" joke that seems to be backfiring more that an HRT on a bad day.

Good luck with that one Lewis. You may just have alienated a very large segment of your remaining fans by coming over as a spoilt, petulant child.

Anyway, you want results, not my rambling. Happily, I can oblige...

Which does the following for the all-important running total:

Yes. I am still in the lead. Bwahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!

Ahem. Race report and other stuff to follow...

(Tonight on BBC2 at 10pm there is the first of a two-part documentary about Queen. In honour of this occasion, I am currently listening to Freddie Mercury's "Mr Bad Guy" LP from 1985.)

Comments

A very modern malady

Hello. I’m Doctor Grenville, and I’m here today to talk to you about SSS – or “Sad Selfie Syndrome”, to give it it’s full medical name. I’m a fully qualified medical doctor thing – I’ve got a PhD from Queens University Academy College Kendal (or “QUACK” for short) to prove it. That means it’s OK for me to talk to you about a very sensitive subject today and stroke your knee. Soothing, no? In my many years of medicinalising practice, I’ve come across some terrible afflictions. I’ve seen Achey Breaky Heart, Kneesles (where you get an itchy rash on your kneecaps) and even a very rare case of the Mercedes Benz. But recently I started seeing shocking images, on social media, graphically showing the devastating results of SSS. If you haven’t heard of it before, you’ve almost certainly seen pictures of what happens to the victims, who are mostly under the age of 30. We’ve already come to understand the irrational, overwhelming need for some amongst this group to photograph everythin...

Faking it for real

As Donald “I’m really great, everybody says so” Trump is so fond of pointing out, there is a lot of fake news around nowadays. Honest. Your friends at Facebook think so too, and have recently been publishing their top tips for spotting false news – by placing them as ads in newspapers. Considering they came in for considerable criticism themselves, that’s like shouting “Squirrel!” and pointing at a tree whilst you hastily kick away the prize begonias you just trampled. To help you make sense of this (and because I’m a caring person), I thought I’d run you through their suggestions and help to explain them for you. I know. I’m lovely. 1. Be sceptical of headlines READING THIS ARTICLE WILL IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE!!! And explain that catchy headlines, or stuff all in capitals might be a bit iffy. 2. Look closely at the URL You can find out more about this at www.wowyouregullible.com if you want to understand how phony web addresses are a sure sign of dodgyness. 3. Investigate...

Fantasy Formula 1 - Hungary Results

Sometimes there's a wonderful "huh?" moment in F1. Today's was when the lights didn't go to red at the start, but flashed green and yellow. I'm sure all the drivers are briefed, and everyone knows the drill, but they all just sat there - no-one wanted to be the first to move. In the most high-tech sport in the world, it took Charlie Whiting waving at them to make them go. To be honest, it wasn't the most thrilling of races, but Happy Hamilton "The slow boys won't get out of my way! It's not fair! Boohoohooo - I'm telling Charlie!" winning does mean the front end of the points table still looks deliciously tight. What we really need now, as the excitement level ramps up, is.... to take 5 weeks off. Dammit. Still, to keep you occupied, I want you to memorise the points you all scored today. It's easy to remember mine. I came last... RACE RESULT Position Name Point...

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