grumpyf1

First off all, thanks, blogger, for taking me on and endless loop of having to sign in and still not letting me post a reply to a comment by Amy. So here's the response to that first: "You'd have thought so! I think he's getting worse as time goes on though. Strange - drivers fall in and out of favour with me fairly often. I was really annoyed with Button a few years ago, but he seems to have matured nicely. My opinion of Nando seems to have bottomed out too and I've started to like him a bit again. Don't tell anyone, though..." And here, remarkably early thanks to the Bank Holiday weather being duff, is the other stuff! Starting off with those oh-so-vital driver and team statistics: Well done to Ollie C, whose score of 96 this race sneaks him into the top 3 scores of the season. Naughty corner: I’m guessing you’ve probably figure out my opinion on that one already. To be fair, we do ask that drivers try to overtake whenever possible and speak t

The Monaco GP, as is often the case, was all about shunts. It all started in P3 when Liuzzi confirmed that the HRT is only held together with the sort of glue that usually has glitter in and is wielded by 4 year olds who have scissors with rounded tips, as his car disintegrated along a bit or armco. Rosberg added to the general mess by losing control coming out of the tunnel, whacking the barriers and narrowly missing a very big shunt as he skimmed past the tek-pro protection that was shortly to get the ultimate test. Mercedes commendably stuck Nico's car back together and he made it out into quali and into the top 10. As, impressively, did Perez, but that was where young Sergio's luck ran out big time, as a near-duplicate of Rosberg's accident stayed the same until the moment the tek-pro took the full force of his car sideways. A worrying time followed, but it seems he's OK, although still under observation is hospital. No-one managed to go faster in the remaini

What-ho, chaps! Well the annual romp around the principality was highly entertaining, wasn't it? Not least because a certain McLaren driver with an odd 'beard', oddly big sunglasses, odd girlfriend and massively big chain of Harry Ramsdens on his shoulder went off on one post-race, and displayed a level of paranoia, by implying that everyone and everything is out to get him, that was breathtakingly arrogant, but bettered only by trying to drop in an Ali G "Is it because I is black" joke that seems to be backfiring more that an HRT on a bad day. Good luck with that one Lewis. You may just have alienated a very large segment of your remaining fans by coming over as a spoilt, petulant child. Anyway, you want results, not my rambling. Happily, I can oblige... Which does the following for the all-important running total: Yes. I am still in the lead. Bwahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!! Ahem. Race report and other stuff to follow... (Tonight on BBC2 at 10pm there i

Wotcha. Right, here's the round up of all the random stuff relating to Fantasy Formula 1 and Vettel's Reign in Spain (damn, why didn't I think of that before). Anyway, here's the driver and team stats for you: Congratulations to Ian and Tony’s Mum, who bagged the two highest individual FF1 scores of the season so far with 126 and 109 respectively. Naughty corner? The stewards. Did they really tell the teams it would be OK for cars to be launched into the path of each other because the pit lane was nice and wide? Lucky no-one was scraping bits of battered Ferrari off the tarmac... Hero: Some high quality driving from a lot of different drivers, but for me it was Heidfeld again for failing to see last place on the grid as an obstacle to getting points. Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was, of course, Heidfeld with a huge 36 points. The top three drivers so far are Vettel on 124, Webber with 98 and Heidfeld (up 1) on 87. Hamilton drops out of the top three.

It was an interesting couple of weeks in F1-land as we headed off to the normally rather dull Spanish Grand Prix. Alonso failed to spot that his contract said 2016 and signed it (he probably thought it said £2016 Million) and Sutil apparently got into "racing incident" with a chap named after some soap and duffed him up a bit in a nightclub, which I'm sure lifted his mood no end, and took his mind of the fact that di Resta is making him look decidedly average so far this season. As the practice sessions got underway it turned out that someone at Pirelli had inadvertently added a extra bucket of 'slow' to the hard tyre, and Heidfeld calmly said "fire" on the radio whilst his elbow and half the car caught fire, keeping him out of quali whilst Renault scraped the black bits off the car. Qualifying saw Crikey Heikki through to Q2, although possibly because the Force India team decided not to use the softer tyres, preferring to keep them for the race.

Evenin', my pretties. How are you all? Apologies for the delay in getting this to you - I spent all of yesterday trapped in a minibus, hypnotised by the slowly rolling behind of a plump lady in last place in a marathon. But enough of my fantasies, you want the Fantasy F1 scores, dontcha?! Well then - let us begin with who go what: Followed by what can only described as a) Hallelujah! A miracle!! OR b) a massive statistical error... Yes, it would appear that I am in the lead. Ha! Ha ha! See! Me!! It's me! You bunch of muppets!!! I'M IN THE LEAD! WAHOOOOO!!! I shall, however, not allow it to go to my head, and will remain calm and pleasant at all times, you bunch of second-rate losers. Race report and other stuff to follow... (My once in a lifetime winning streak was calculated to the tunes of Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk" LP, on vinyl, from a place in time some call 1979...)

Hello, kiddliwinks! Hope you've been behaving yourselves? As I'm luxuriating on a day off, here's the other bits and bobs for your delectation, starting with the driver and team statistics: Tough weekend for Andy in FF1, as he adds himself to the worst scores of the year with a miserly 12 points. Naughty corner? Has to be Schumi methinks. A bunch of tired old attempts to out-muscle other drivers failed dismally and left him looking pretty daft. Bus pass on standby. Hero? I say Kobayashi! The baby-faced assassin bagged a points finish from last place on the grid. Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was Kobayashi, garnering a rather massive 29 points. The top three drivers so far are Vettel on 97, Webber with 85 and Hamilton on 63. Perez managed to bag a couple of FF1 points this race, leaving Maldonado the only driver not to score so far. Kobayashi’s great race moves him up to 6th, ahead of Alonso! The top three teams so far are Red Bull on 97, McLaren with 81

The GP weekend didn't start too well for Vettel. Apart from the fact that somebody had stolen a lot of his hair to make a fetching haystack, he binned his motor pretty comprehensively in the wet 1st practice session on Friday. Missing all of P2 whilst the team sent out for extra rolls of gaffer tape and a dozen catering-size bottles of superglue, he made P3, then promptly made everyone else look like complete idiots in quali. Again. Fastest by 0.4 seconds from his team-mate, Rosberg was ahead of Hamilton, Alonso and Button, and the weekend was already slipping rapidly away from his rivals. So confident were Red Bull that Seb and Webb(er) only did 1 lap each in Q3 and then put their feet up and had a cuppa whilst the others tried pathetically to beat their time. Dominant, no? Unfortunately for the smiley ninja Kobayashi, his car packed up in Q1 before he's even set a time, so back of the grid beckoned him for race day. Kamui and 23 cars to try and get past? That explains my

First of all, an apology. Well, two actually: 1) I should be posting more articles on this blog, shouldn't I? God knows I'm opinionated enough to fill an entire library. Note to self: Must try harder. 2) Ahm.... You know what? Much like Eddie Jordan, I seem to have entirely forgotten what I was going to say. Nope.... it's gone. Ah well. Anyway, the full grumpfy1 post-race service is coming soon for the Turkish GP, but here's the important bit - who scored what: And even more importantly, what the running totals are: See you in a bit for the race review. When I can figure out what the hell actually happend, that is... (Assisting me in number crunching this evening are Ultravox, and the spiffing vinyl 12" single for "Hymn")