grumpyf1

You know those annoying people at parties? The ones in the loud shirts, who keep knocking back the wine like it’s free, and then get all smart-Alec-y and think they know everything? I hate them. If, like me, times are a little hard, and you can only afford to go out occasionally, you really want to have an enjoyable evening, relaxing with friends, free from the cares of the world, for a nice chat and a few laughs. Or, you may be going to dinner at someone’s house: Old friends from school, perhaps. Or work colleagues that have become friends. Family, even. What you really don’t need at an occasion that’s meant to be fun is some boorish goon, who starts out relatively normally, but gets progressively louder as the evening goes on. You know the type – quaffing your expensive Pinot Grigiot like it’s a bottle of Value Cider, and gradually getting louder and louder, whilst their anecdotes get progressively longer, the hilarious bon-mots are actually decidedly un-funny, and their tal...

This week I want to bring to you, dear readers, some fascinating insights into the world of sport, in all it’s many-faceted glory. Unfortunately, I only really follow Formula 1, but hey – I’ll give it a stab anyway. Let’s face it – most of us are armchair experts on at least one sport, and a bit hazy on the rest of them. On the bright side, this does mean that your chances of being found out when you say that you’ve followed Mo Farrah’s career since he was in shorts (ah....), are relatively small. Much like The Mobot’s shorts, in fact. Here we go then. Jolly good luck everybody. Andy Murray – Suddenly he’s become very, very, British, what with his Wimbledon Winningness (the second one this year at the Olympics thing, not the first one where he was second. Got it?), and now victory this week at the US Is Open Tennis Batting Contest. This is a splendid sporting achievement, and means the Scottish people now have to share him with us again for a bit, until he fails to win s...

Good to see Lewis doing his RoboHamilton thing again, like a big, spoilt, self-obsessed, arsey, erm... Robot. He's done this before - refuse to show too much emotion, don't get too excited about anything, keep the smiles to a minimum, stick head in sand and hope no-one notices. We noticed. Clearly, something is wrong in Hami-land. Whilst McLaren still seem to be a very good bet indeed, it appears something is making Lewis look elsewhere. Being shown up by Button, perhaps? Believing in his own hype too much? Not winning titles? Whatever it is, I doubt he'll find it at Mercedes. On the plus side, someone else will get a chance in a decent car. I'd like to see Perez in there. That way, McLaren can save on their tyre bill even more and spend it on a smilebotomy for Ron Dennis. Naughty Corner: Seb was a touch naughty, wasn’t he? He’s a very likeable chap, but sometimes we forget he’s an F1 driver: the desire to win sometimes overrules politeness and fair play. He...

Following hot on the heels of the previous race, the man responsible for the largest number of crimes against shirt decency, Eddie Jordan, plopped the concept of Lewis Hamilton heading to Mercedes in our collective heads. Tied in to this was the idea of Michael Schumacher retiring (again) and maybe Paul di Resta going to McLaren. An interesting idea, and one that all parties mentioned were busy avoiding answering as the Italian GP weekend got underway. The next few weeks should be entertaining, if you like seeing people squirming after having been put on the spot. On Saturday, Hulky Wulky’s car decided it didn’t want to play in Q1, eliciting a collective sigh of relief from the rest of the pitlane, as that sorted out the on-going “who will go out in Q1(other than Marussias, Caterhams and Hispanias, obviously)?”question. It also afforded de la Rosa the opportunity to not be second from last on the grid for his 100th GP. Unfortunately, he was out-qualified by his team-mate Kart...

Blimey - there were more breakdowns in that race than I used to get in my Fiat Punto on an average weekend. Still, it's nothing like a decade or so ago, is it? In those misty, out of focus, hard to remember, days you were lucky if anyone finished at all. Sometimes, the things one of the drivers would do to the others were shocking. Giant elastic bands across the track, explosives, oil slicks on the surface - they'd try anything, and... wait... that was Wacky Races, wasn't it?    Good race, though! And Maldonad'oh didn't crash in to anyone or get a penalty. Something to tell your Grandchildren. If he doesn't run them off the road and into a ditch first. You'll be wanting the results, then. Righty-ho.   RACE RESULT     Position Name Points 1 Steve M 75 2 Nigel 70 3 James 69 4 Martin R ...