Harnessing your inner penguin

It’s warming up nicely, isn’t it? Soon, the cold of winter will be just a distant memory. But for me, the penguin (much like Celine Dion’s heart) will go on...

Whilst this weekend looks set to witness a temperature in Centigrade containing two digits for the first time in ages, last Sunday featured some sudden snow storms and general chilliness.

Timing my walk to perfection, I was part way up Arnside Knott when the snow came down soft and fast. I soon found myself in a small bubble of visibility, eerie silence, extreme slipperiness and a facial sensation that I imagine is like an ice bucket challenge on endless loop.

Despite the multiple layers of clothing and my usual, disgruntled demeanour, something deep inside me stirred. Cold, worried about slipping over, face stinging from the horizontal assault of iciness, the grumpy me battled momentarily with a deeply buried sensation before losing altogether, as my inner 10 year old joyously delighted at this sight of heavy snow falling.

I love Spring.

If this hasn’t happened to you for a while, there’s something very wrong with you. Yes, the annoying things about the white stuff make up a pretty long list, but your inner kid doesn’t do lists – they do sticking your tongue out to catch a snowflake and grinning a lot.

The warm, fuzzy feeling lasted until I was trying to descend, when I discovered that had I owned a slipperiness meter it would have exploded. Each step invited a spectacular flailing manoeuvre resulting in probable injury, or at least a very wet bottom.

And then I remembered something I’d read about adjusting your centre of gravity, by leaning forwards at the waist, so your weight over your feet as you take small steps, lessening the risk of slipping. A little later, I realised I was shuffling downhill steadily, quietly repeating to myself “Think like a penguin. BE The Penguin!”

My reward was a safe descent and stunning views as the sun broke through, revealing a landscape seemingly shrink-wrapped in low cloud and a layer of white.

The Penguin is pleased. The penguin commands you to have some cake. Obey the penguin.

Thanks, Leonard: I wasn’t old enough to remember Star Trek first time around, but my 70s childhood contained plenty of Kirk, Bones, Scotty and Spock, and my love of the series, subsequent films and all the Next Generations still continues, even if they aren’t on TV much any more.

But like an old friend thousands of miles away, you might not see then often, but they’re still an important part of your life, and trigger happy memories.

I was therefore saddened to hear of the passing of Leonard Nimoy last week, the actor who played Spock so brilliantly. The Vulcan science officer’s, logic, efficiency and seeming lack of emotion undoubtedly resonated with many a nerdy, geeky, socially awkward school kid like me. Leonard and his alter-ego helped make being different OK.

May his memory live long and prosper.

This post first appeared as my "Thank grumpy it's Friday" column, in the North West Evening Mail, on the 6th of March 2015, where it was retitled as "Snow shuffle is child's play", and received a few trims too. You've got the full text, but if you fancy a game of Spot The Difference, their version is on their website here.

In an unfortunate return to form, it seems to have gone straight into their archive section uncredited.

The DJ Spock picture above is from a T-shirt I had on my Amazon want list, but which rapidly became unavailable. I'm guessing copyright issues. I would have been delighted to wear that into work the day after Leonard's passing was announced, had I managed to get hold of it. Even if I have got a new boss, who I suspect wouldn't have found it amusing.

The snow story is all true, by the way. The only bit missing is the trouble I got into with my worried wife when I was late back. Hardly surprising really - it was slow going, and I did stop to take in the stunning views, which my crappy camera phone singularly fail to do justice to. You'll have to take my word for it, and imagine how great it would have been if you were actually there, instead of looking at my poor photography.

(*NERD KLAXON* Listening to the rather fab Doctor Who - The 50th Anniversary Collection. 4 CDs-worth of music from 1963 to 2013. Smashing.)

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