Scarramuchi, Scarramuchi... will you view the flan-nan-show?

Yes, I’ll admit it took me a long time to come up with that Bohemian Rhapsody-based headline, following two stories vying for my attention this week.

First up, we have the latest victim in the greatest/strangest reality show on the planet, hosted by that zany guy with the overly-long tie, Donald “You’re Fired!” Trump. Maybe we could call it White House Big Bother?

Since getting himself comfy in the Oval Office’s chair, the President has been busily increasing the unemployment level of the USofA by firing people so quickly, some of them probably hadn’t even had sufficient time to being their own mug in and figure out how many sugars everyone else had.

I bet there’s hardly a day goes by without another “Sorry you’re leaving” card doing the rounds. Acting attorney general, Sally Yates, managed 10 days of employment before getting the boot – I’ve had colds that lasted longer than that.

Michael Flynn was, briefly, national security adviser for a mammoth 23 days – a timeframe short enough for him to probably still have been getting challenged in the corridor by security staff, because they didn’t recognise him.

Anthony Scarramuchi, the latest one to get the chop, was communications director for ten, fleeting, incandescent days. During this time, he accused the chief of staff, Reince Priebus (also now gone) on Twitter of being responsible for White House leaks, and swearily attacked Steve Bannon, senior advisor, during a phone-rage incident with the New Yorker magazine.

Although looking like the bad guy in a Tarantino movie isn’t specifically a reason for dismissal, “The Mooch” did get the chop for his “inappropriate” comments.

Steve Bannon is still (at the time of going to print) employed by Trump. Tune in next week to see who will be evicted next!

Next, we have the rousing news that nation’s favourite gran will soon be back judging other people’s food with a twinkle in her eye, as Mary Berry returns to BBC One with Britain’s Best Cook.

With the Great British Bake Off having switched to Channel 4, and Mary’s former partner in judgement, Paul Hollywood, staying with the show, the BBC have been keen to find a new vehicle for the ever-popular octogenarian.

Teaming up with presenter Claudia Winkleman, and a yet-to-be-announced second judge, Berry will preside over eight episodes of the show, during which 10 contestants will whip up meals of British splendidness for the 82-year-old to critique.

Having already starred in Mary Berry Everyday since departing GBBO, the BBC have also lined her up for Mary Berry’s Secrets From Britain’s Great Houses. I doubt we’ll be referring to that as MBSFBGH on social media any time soon. Britain’s Best Cook, however, can be shortened to the rather pleasing BBC.

Although genial presenters Mel and Sue won’t be present, you can almost certainly rest assured that there will be plenty of opportunities to say “soggy bottom” or “what a lovely sausage” during the new show, which Mary says will “encourage proper home cooking”.

Galileo, figgy-roll magnifico?

This post first appears as my "Than grumpy it's Friday" column, in the North West Evening Mail, on the 4th of August 2017. Whilst the version used on their website retained my title, the print edition went with "Trump's got me fired up", reducing my headline to the first paragraph of the article. It was a long title, so fair enough.

Unless something changes, I think we might be looking at the beginning of the end of my newspaper column odyssey. I'm increasingly staring at a blank Word document the day before submission, bereft of ideas. It's fine once I've got going, but the inspiration side of things is beginning to be an issue. The 6th anniversary of my first column could be a good point to bow out, but that's not until next May. Column 300 would be some time during March. Christmas? Sooner? Hm...

(CD A-Z: Queen's "Hot Space", patchy, but an album with "Under Pressure" on it definitely isn't a lost cause.)

The Schaf Shuffle

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