A whole new Spectrum of fun

Hold on to your RAM packs, the ZX Spectrum is back!

(Or, if you’re under about 40: Warning! Old people reminiscing about prehistoric computing kit!)

When I was but a naive, annoying, layabout of a youth with a fine head of hair (as opposed to a cynical, annoying, layabout of a middle-aged balding bloke), I spent many a happy hour round at a friend’s house.

He was lucky – his parents brought him the latest stuff, so he was listening to ELO albums on cassette whilst I waited to catch a song on the radio, he could use their VCR to record a TV show, whilst I was banned from watching The Young Ones as it was all a bit anarchic, and his parents brought him the latest computing technology, whilst I...

Well, there wasn’t any comparison really. True, I had a digital watch that played Fur Elise, and we did have a calculator in the house, but these were like a toothpick next to a mighty Oak when it came to the Sinclair ZX Spectrum.

Descendent of the ZX81, the Spectrum was an altogether mightier beast – when hooked up to your TV (and after seemingly never-ending minutes of loading programmes from a cassette) it could deliver a stunning several-colours visual experience. Pricey, too – up to £175 when they first appeared, which is roughly equivalent to “No, you can’t have one for Christmas” today.

If serious programming, using it’s enormous 16K of ROM, wasn’t enough, you could give it a turbo upgrade with as much as 48K of RAM. For the first time, arcade games were available from the discomfort of your own living room floor, because the location of your TV, plug sockets, and the need to hook them all up using cables in an age when “wifi” meant you smelt bad, restricted your ability to go anywhere near the sofa.

Suspended in the middle of your web of wires, like some kind of futuristic techno-spider, you could while away the hours until tea playing all manner of thrilling games, using the hideously weird “dead flesh” keyboard.

Despite the fact that juvenile RSI was a definite risk due to the bizarre key combination required to, say, open the bomb hatch doors whilst simultaneously firing your laser, the fun never ended – unless someone wanted to watch the football, or you were getting a bit too overexcited playing Jet Set Willy.

Whilst many of the games from those happy 80s days are now available to play on your computing kit of choice, the rainbow-adorned Spectrum had seemingly gone to the great skip in the sky forever, save a few carefully preserved museum specimens.

Guess what though? It’s coming back! A crowd-funding campaign will soon allow rubbery-keyed replicas to connect to your tablet, wirelessly, enabling you to one again waste hours playing Manic Miner. But only if you buy the Apps of the games you originally purchased three decades ago. Packet of Quavers and glass of Cresta optional.

This post first appeared as my "Thank grumpy it's Friday" column, in the North West Evening Mail, on the 10th of July 2015. You can view it on the paper's snazzily updated website here, but be warned! The new picture of me is in use, and large enough to cause blackouts and vomiting if you come across it without warning. Steel yourselves, and don't operate heavy machinery or drive for an hour of so after viewing.

Not quite sure why I appear to be looking out of a particularly dense fog either, but hey - Photoshop isn't for everyone. Whilst they were removing the background, you would have thought
they could have taken the time to remove the bags under my eyes too, but maybe they didn't have an extra hour free, or enough computing power.

Whilst the new picture has appeared online, the old one is still in the print edition, thus affording anyone utilising both for their news requirements to watch me age scarily by simply switching from print to screen.

I'm now in a section titled 'Opinion', rather than 'Columns'. Maybe the difference is only slight, but I felt a little more comfortable with the old title - the new one makes me feel like I should be commenting on the events of the world more, rather than whatever happens to wander out of my brain when I'm not paying attention.

Rather excitingly, the website's main Columns page seems to be showing a symbol (a speech bubble) and number for comments, even though none currently appear when you go into the column itself.

Assumingly, they have to go through moderation first. At one point last night I was top of the list for most commented article on their website, but considering the single digit numbers involved, I don't think I should be getting too excitable, or planning acceptance speeches, just yet.

(CD singles finished! Now starting an alphabetic run through my CD collection. Last time I did that, it took 3 and half years to listen to them all. Here we go then - currently listening to Abba's "Ring Ring". Should be done around Christmas 2018...)