Time for the Timelord

If you don’t like Doctor Who, then there’s something seriously wrong with you. Maybe you should see a Doctor.

Unless you’ve been caught in some kind of temporal distortion (or the pub – it’s hard to spot the difference sometimes), you can’t have failed to notice the overload of all things TARDIS related invading your TV, like some kind of badly dressed alien invasion.

After documentaries about it’s early days, in-depth analysis of the top 10 enemies of the time-travelling do-gooder, and more appearances in the media than the cast of The Only Way Is Essex on overtime, tomorrow night sees the culmination of Who Fever, as the 50th Anniversary episode airs at 7.50pm.

And not just on your humble tellybox in the UK either. It’ll be going out simultaneously in 200 countries, to a potential audience of 100 million viewers.

Where anyone has been foolish enough to purchase a 3D TV, they’ll be able to enjoy Matt Smith, David Tennant and John Hurt waving themselves (and the special effects) into their living room in glorious tri-dimensional splendour, as the three actors take on the same role, at the same time.

And then there are the cinemas, who will be showing it on screens even bigger than those now wedged into our living rooms, in High Definition 3D, and with filling-rattling sound. If you were quick enough to book your place, that is.

If you had been able to travel forward in time fifty years from when the first episode aired to today, and were OK with the overpowering sense of irony this caused, you would doubtlessly be as stunned as a concussed Cyberman to find the show still going strong, and with the 11th person playing the lead role.

With a mini-episode featuring the 8th incarnation of the man with the sonic screwdriver whetting the appetite of excited fans last week, by explaining (kind of) how John Hurt’s version of the character comes into existence, never has an episode of a science fiction show ever had quite so much to live up to.

Three doctors. Two companions. A truck load of Daleks (and they CAN get up stairs now too). 75 minutes.

That’s already a lot for an overexcited Whovian to cope with, but the internet has hyped up the frenzy further, by speculating on other incarnations of ‘the mad man in a blue box’ appearing, along with more of the most heinous of his rivals, the loveliest of his companions, and maybe even a small metal dog with an annoying voice.

And it won’t just be kids and teens with an unhealthy obsession for the tiniest details. The show has been around so gloriously long, that even your Gran might be on the edge of her seat, wondering if that nice Peter Purves might make an appearance. And could the wonders of computer technology bring back in their full pump actors long in the tooth, or long gone?

Don’t try and ring me tomorrow night. I’ll be in the front row of a cinema in Lancaster. Geronimo!

This post first appeared as my 'Thank grumpy it's Friday' column in the North West Evening Mail, on the 22nd of November 2013. You can read the version the paper published here They added "It's" to the title, but removed the entire 67 word second-to-last paragraph you can read above. I hope it was to make way for a Who picture, but I doubt it.

Off to Lancaster shortly for the screening - possibly a little too excited for a man of my age, tempered by an annoying letter received today. Might be able to tell you about it at some point...

(Smashing compilation CD on the go: "Relax! The Ultimate 80s Mix: Volume Two".)
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