grumpyf1

Don't you love Bank Holidays? Lots of time to get stuff done... like sort out the Fantasy Formula 1 random bits and bobs whilst its raining. Kicking off our collection of what some are calling 'stuff' from the Belgian GP, here's the driver and team statistics: Naughty corner: Senna - first he pinched Mr. Lovelybeard's seat by flashing his bulging wallet, then he 'forgot' that the car would handle differently on cold tyres and full tanks and caused chaos at the start, ruining Alguerdoyouthinkhesaurus' chances too. Berk. Hero: Schuey or JB? Hmmmmm. Michael came from last to 4th, whilst JB went from 13th to 3rd. Looking at it that way (and seeing as it was his 200th birthday or something), I'll go with Herr Schumi. Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was Schumacher, with a colossal 48 points! The top three drivers so far are Vettel on 269, Webber with 206 and Button (up 2) on 193. Hamilton drops out of the top three after his little 'pr...

Spa is chuffing marvelous, isn't it? Brilliant circuit, weather we British types can identify with, and a pretty-much-guaranteed shunt during an exciting race. 2011's outing didn't disappoint, even with a lack of precipitation on race day. After the delights of 4 weeks with no F1 (during which some of us got a taste of what it'll be like next year if you don't have Sky), Nick Heidfeld found himself drive-free after being replaced by Bruno Senna at Renault. Odd decision - pretty likely haul of points from Nick, or a few million quid from Bruno... oh, hang on. I just answered my own question - with rumours circulating that Renault (who, as you'd expect in the crazy world of F1 have pretty much naff all to do with Renault) are a touch on the skint side, accepting some wonga may be their only route out of trouble - although points quite literally mean (cash) prizes at the end of the season. Still, Nick has decided to sue the team to get his drive back, whi...

Wow - that was pretty hard to call, wasn't it? Mr pointyfinger wound up as the victor though, probably sealing his championship into the bargain. The race was a bit of a thriller though, with Button proving he can do a load of overtaking without the assistance of moisture. Anyway, after a 4 week break, you'll be itching to know what the Fantasy F1 scores are, won't you? So here's the race result... And here's the rather startling running total... Henry was 28th after race 1. Blimey.... (Tuneage from Sting tonight - and a rather jazzifield live version of Kind Of Pain)

Hello again. Guess what?! It's been 15 days, and Tesco haven't replied. Time for a follow-up email... Dear Tesco Customer Services, Hello again! Thanks for your lovely reply to my original email. It was nice of you to reply instantly with a message saying you would be in touch shortly.   The cheery ‘Kind regards Tesco’ at the end was a nice touch. Can I be awkward and point a little thing out to you though? Whilst I’m sure the actual length of the word ‘shortly’ can be interpreted in myriad ways (for instance, shortly in galactic terms could possibly be several thousand millennia, give or take a few, whilst someone whose underpants were on fire might be rightly hoping that ‘shortly’, when uttered by the 999 person on the other end of the phone, will be very, very, VERY quick indeed.), 15 days without a response does seem to be a touch towards the lengthy end of the ‘Shortly Spectrum’. I did just invent that, yes. Maybe the hideously complicated and convoluted story o...

Evenin' all. What with riots, crappy weather and the fact that there is still no F1 for ages, I thought I'd occupy my time usefully, and have therefore written the following letter to Tesco. Feel my rage...       Dear Customer Services,  I was most chuffed to get a letter from your credit card section recently, with a jolly nice coupon for 650 Clubcard points. Apparently, in order to redeem them, I needed to have my MasterCard scanned at the same time as the coupon. A touch tricky, as I shop online. Handily, you provided a number on the back of the coupon with the message "If you're unable to get this coupon scanned at a Tesco Store please call". Guess what? I did. There were 4 options on your phone menu. As I didn't want a credit card balance, to pay my credit card, have a query about my credit card, apply for a credit card or, in fact, need anything at all even remotely to do with my credit card, I selected the 4th option - Clu...

Here are again, then. It's time for the odd nonsense that goes with FF1. Seeing as it's three and a half weeks until the next race, remember to read it s l o w l y, OK? First up, the driver and team statistics for you edification: Naughty corner: Bernie. The BBC. Sky. Take your pick. Grrrr.... Hero: Has to go to JB for a brilliant drive to take victory once again at the scene of his first, five years ago. Nice one, Jenson. Fantasy Formula 1 driver of the day was Buemi, with a stonking 34 points. The top three drivers so far are Vettel on 243, Webber with 186 and Hamilton on 172. Guess what?! Maldonado started the race 17th and finished... 16th! So he finally has a whole 2 FF1 points! Go Pastor! Wooooo! The top three teams so far are Red Bull on 247, McLaren with 235 and Ferrari on 187. Buemi's monster score sneaks Toro Rosso ahead of Sauber into 5th place. Me and Ian do the top step shuffle yet again this race, but the top 10 have really closed up. Could be...

Chaos and confusion may have reigned over the BBC's loss of full F1 rights to Sky, but Button's rainy sky skills once again saw him right when others fell foul of the conditions. In case you happen to live under a very big rock indeed, the news about the BBC losing the rights to show all the races next season was definitely the talking point ahead of this race. It's certainly going to hit hard next year to only have half the races live on free-to-air TV and I could bang on for ages about the massive annoyance this causes many fans and whose fault it is... in fact I did. See my earlier "Dear Bernie..." post - but only if you've got half an hour and some Valium. Full marks to Martin Brundle for sneaking in a sly reference to it in Q1 when he asked "who will be in front of us in the job queue next year?" Quali seemed to suggest another pointy-fingered upset was on the cards, as Vettel stayed shy of the fastest times, until (of course) it really...