And then there were four...

In F1 terms, Brazil is usually good value for money.

For starters, it has held the championship showdown for the last 5 years. Would it manage in again in 2010 with 5 drivers still in the hunt?

Qualifying was that entertaining thing of a wet, but slowly drying, track. Things went roughly as you would expect, which regrettably included Button struggling for grip and seeing him fail to make Q3. The biggest surprise came in the last 4 minutes, when everyone decided it was time to switch to slicks and see if they could hang on. Whilst most drivers (including the championship rivals) all slithered here and there, one man kept it all together - a surprising (and probably surprised) Incredible Hulkenberg. But not only did he manage to be ahead of everyone, he then put in another lap a whole second faster. Awesome. Somehow you knew that was likely to be the highlight of his weekend...

Button's crap day got worse when some armed neer-do-wells attempted to get at his armoured motor on the way out of the track. Still, whilst scary, he fared better than some Sauber mechanics who were held up and had their gear stolen. You don't get that at Silverstone. Mind you, you get robbed when buying a burger instead.

Race day saw Red Bull with another opportunity to become constructor's champs (if they could manage not to balls it up this time) and they got off to a fine start, with both drivers past Hulky on the first lap. Alonso couldn't manage the same until L7 and Button once again seemed to be struggling with tyres.

Hamilton seemed to spend most of the race grumbling about his tyres, the F duct (asking if it was working seemed a bit odd - it's a bloody hole. Did he think it had healed up or something?), tyres again and probably the price of fish too.

Jenson opted to pit early for tyres (what had he got to lose?) on L12 to try and get himself out of the Hulkenqueue which had formed, and Massa did the same. A dodgy wheel nut meant he was back in next lap, knackering him home GP big time, and any chance of him helping his team-"mate".

Up front, Vettel led from Webber by roughly 2 seconds for ages, the gap ebbing and flowing as they lapped endless cars, a low-attrition race (unless you were Tonio Liuzzi) meaning nearly everyone was still running at the end. Alonso, comfortable in the knowledge that he just needs podiums to bag another title, kept a comfortable distance back in 3rd.

Liuzzi failed to spot a corner (how come he's still got a drive?) on lap 51 and the Safety Car was deployed. As everyone had already taken their mandatory tyre stop, it was surprise to see Hamiton and Button pit, but as it turned out, they remained in the same positions, albeit with a bunch of lapped cars in front of them.

Button needed a miracle for his title chances to stay alive but, unlike armed gunmen*, it didn't arrive. Whilst Koyayashi did his usual late-race banzai business and Rubens had his usual crap luck at home with a puncture, Vettel won with Webber 2nd, Alonso 3rd, Hamilton 4th and Button 5th. Credit to Hulky - 8th was pretty respectable in the end, with only the title protagonists and 2 Mercs in front of him.

It was enough for Red Bull to take their first Constructor's title too. And so we head off to to the final race of the season, with the top 3 closed-up further, but Hamilton out of it, unless he wins and the rest don't score in Abu Shabi. Sorry, Dhabi.

Damn, this season is exciting...

(* Why do we say "armed gunmen"? If they weren't armed, they wouldn't be gunmen, just men. It's like saying wet water. I really shouldn't let this sort of thing annoy me so much, should I? *long pause* But it does. Grrrrr.)

(Playing tonight, Marillion's 88 album "Radiation")

Making an exhibition of yourself

Now and again, it’s good to reaffirm that you’re a (relatively) normal human being. One excellent way of doing this is to go to a business exhibition. Despite what you might have surmised from reading my previous columns, I am employable, and even capable of acting like a regular person most of the time, even joining in the Monday morning conversation about the weather over the weekend, and why (insert name of footyballs manager here) should be fired immediately. The mug! True, there are times, often involving a caffeine deficiency, where it is like having the distilled essence of ten moody teenagers in the room, but I try and get that out of the way when people I genuinely like aren’t around to see it. As part of my ongoing experiment with what others call ‘working’, my ‘job’ involves me occasionally needing to go and see what some of my colleagues get up to outside the office, and what our competitors do to try and make sure that they do whatever my colleagues do better than ...

Unstable Stables: Throw away the key

It’s comforting to know that there is one less threat to the people of Cumbria this week, following the conviction of white supremacist, Ethan Stables. The 20 year old from Barrow had planned to attack the town’s New Empire pub in June 2017, in the midst of a gay pride event. Despite social media posts saying he was “going to war” and planning to “slaughter”, online searches about how to make bombs and chemical poisons, and expressing hatred of Muslims, Jews and gay people, he claimed his online comments were merely to impress far-right friends. Fortunately, following Facebook posts about his intentions, the police were tipped off and armed officers intercepted him as he headed towards the pub. His aim was to kill anyone he found, with a machete. In a bizarre slip-up, Stables had erroneously added an innocent woman to his neo-Nazi Facebook group. When he vented his outrage at the Furness LGBT support group’s event, the shocked woman contacted the authorities. He’ll have ple...

Is it foggy? No.

When I get put in charge (which is bound to happen soon), I'm going to introduce a whole raft of new laws, for I shall be a just and fair ruler. I'm quite liking the title of 'Most Marvellous Emperor Of Sensible Regulations And Bountiful Lovingness Not To Mention Exceedingly Handsome', but it might be a bit long. On that basis, I'll settle for the more informal 'He Who Is Smashing' from my loyal subjects. Anyway, I digress. I do that sometimes - had you noticed? Here, then, is the first law that will introduced: grumpyf1 law No.1 - Turn your fog lights off, you complete git. Don't get me wrong; If it genuinely is foggy, fog lights are quite handy. The reason for introduction of this law is because 96% of the time (based on my own in-depth research) it isn't foggy when some utter cockwomble blinds you. This has always been a bit of a problem but in the last couple of years it seems to have escalated out of control, possibly because of the...

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